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Quick note: If you’re enjoying this article on 21 men’s dressing tips to be more stylish, then you’ll probably find my other writing on all things men’s fashion & style useful. Each week, I share updates, style tips and other things not shared on the blog through my free email newsletter. Basic Men's Style Tip 3. Fit Is King. Fit is the first cornerstone of the STYLE PYRAMID. When it comes to basic men's style tips, this is critical. No sum of money in the world can help you if your suit looks more like a trash bag than a garment. Here Are Best Rules Dressing Tips For Men To Look Sharp 1. Wear A Suit Well. The way into a suit looking great is fit. In case you’re paying off-the-peg, center around the fit over the shoulders on the grounds that getting the chest and midriff modified is a generally simple activity as per Davide Taub, head of bespoke suits at Savile Row tailor Gieves and Hawkes. How to dress well in 15 easy and simple steps, from investing in a watch and understanding dress codes to buying raw denim and experimenting with colour. Consider the harrington — it’s been a men’s style staple for decades. 57. Brown or black leather — pick one. They don’t all have to be identical shades, but you shouldn’t be rocking a black watchband with a brown belt or anything like that. 58. If you wear suits in the winter, wear a long wool overcoat. Watch the whole video to get good men’s style tips for 2019. Daniel also gives you a bonus men’s style tip at the end of the video that is unexpected from most fashion youtubers. In this video, Daniel points out some ways that men are dressing wrong, but at the same time you get the best dressing tips for guys Casual dress code for men is perhaps men’s best chance to express a true sense of personal style. Whether you prefer something sleek or rugged, upscale or down-to-earth, men’s casual wear is an open invitation to dress in what feels most comfortable to you. Rather than focusing on formalities, dressing casually is about finding the right balance between comfort, individuality, and style ...
25 [M4F] #Ocean - Well read, educated, dom switch looking for his match. Think you could keep up?
2020.09.21 02:26 SweetrollSixty-Nine25 [M4F] #Ocean - Well read, educated, dom switch looking for his match. Think you could keep up?
Hey! I'm a 25 year old guy from the Jersey Shore who enjoys the finer things in life. I enjoy men's fashion down to a design perspective, even considering making my own clothes ( I tore apart some suede boots and made matching wallets for my friend and I) Before COVID happened I was backpacking in Europe catching up with about a dozen or so friends and adding to my 18 country tally (Mexico and Europe are back on the list for this year!). When I have the time I go for a hike up near the Delaware Water Gap as it's only an hour or so away from where I live. While my cooking options are limited in my housing arrangements I've really begun to grow my cookbook from all the restaurants I've been to. I've been lucky enough to share honemade creole cusine in New Orleans, split an Adriatic Makerel Croatian style in Zagreb, even most recently having traditional Piedmontese beef while visiting an ex in Turin, Iraly. That's really only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my interests. I'm the master of none when it comes to information and facts as I know a little bit about everything if you're patient with the conversation. I am the master of one thing; knowing how to edge someone into orgasmic oblivion while taking every delight at teasing, edging, and breaking you down to your most primal desire. I like the idea of knowing someone in and out and dressing them down mentally as I break every wall of apprehension. Things may be less taboo modern day, but with me every desire and curiousity is an open ended book for us to write our erotic story. I enjoy using restraints and spreader bars, alittle gymnastics during sex isn't uncommon. Paddles and spanking are my main weapons of choice although I enjoy using my hands the most because I can do so much with them; pulling, face plowing, guiding, rubbing your clit while I project the thoughts I'm going to do to you. Very little besides scat, childplay and blood is off limits for me. Basically pouring my kinky big "heart" into this; About my appearance: • 5'9", 6'5" in confidence • Buzzed, Clean Head • 6.5" x 5.5" BWC • Deep blue eyes • I've been told I have an attractive voice • Average Build, getting into rugby shape again • Bearded, well dressed What I look for: • 18-35 • In-shape or hwp, I prefer slim, wide hips, but not skinny. Am open to most body types except BBW. • I have a thing for fair skin, fair eyes, redheads are a weakness, I've liked Asian and Indian girls, so just a preference • I like someone with a bit of knowledge, medical professionals are common in my relationships. I enjoy conceptual discussions. • Doesn't have an issue turning me down if we don't click. If you can't communicate, this isn't going to work. Feel free to message me in chat, I very much prefer it over PM as it's easier to follow as the PM system is broken on Reddit mobile. Best, John
2020.09.20 23:03 ENCLAVE_ETERNALAn update to my station to station review
Station to Station was born of the darkest period in David Bowie’s life. It was brought about in a drug induced haze of paranoia, occultism, and above all, fame. He lived off of nothing but milk, peppers, and cocaine at the time, his body weight went under 100 pounds, and he later claimed to have not remembered creating the album. It is comparable to the self-loathing egotism of Kanye West’s “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy”, and the hedonistic tale of apocalypse that is Gorillaz’s “Humanz”. Yet it is strangely emotional, beautiful, and, by the album's conclusion, optimistic. It is a tale of a man learning to find love, despite his past failures at doing so, and his unending cynicism that he generates. The man in question, The Thin White Duke, is Bowie himself, and at the same time, all of his wrongs and addictions that he has created for himself. The Duke is a two part metaphor, as he is the monster inside of Bowie that was eating him alive at the time, and by the end of the album, he is also the man that Bowie hopes he can be. From the gorgeously arranged stream of cynicism and regret that is hidden beneath it’s upbeat krautdisco ending in the Title Track, to the hopeful and deeply intimate ballad that is Wild is the Wind, Station to Station proves time and time again to be Bowie’s masterpiece, and perhaps one of the greatest albums of all time. Station to Station The album opens on a haunting note, with the distant sound of a train moving back and forth between the left and right speaker. This might simply be taken as the Stations that the album’s title refers to, but later lyrics on the Title Track that the introduction becomes seems to give it a deeper, more occultist meaning. This train continues to move back and forth, until a guitar begins to scream in the background at precisely 1 minute and 6 seconds into the 10 minute and 18 second musical odyssey that is the Title Track. Then, a piano begins to play the same two notes, at the same time as a bass begins to play, eventually leading into an almost jazzy, yet still baroque, guitar riff. A mechanical soul jam, mixed with a fascist march, with a backdrop of screaming machinery. It sounds like pure, classy, evil. The perfect introduction for the Thin White Duke to enter. This ominous overture continues until exactly 3 minutes and 19 seconds in, when the first lyric of the song chimes in, crooned by an almost pained sounding Bowie. “The return of the Thin White Duke, throwing darts in lovers eyes” This describes the current state of mind for the Duke. He’s angry, bitter, jealous of those who can feel such potent emotions as love. He’d rather put out their eyes, and shatter their illusions of romance with his cynicism than try and find some of his own. He’s too deep in the addiction, ego, power, and fame to try and find something truly meaningful. The drums then kick in fully with the bass, creating a slowly grinding funk beat, as Bowie half sings, half proclaims, the next few lyrics. “Here are we, one magical moment, such is the stuff from where dreams are woven.” These lyrics are a sardonic mocking of fantasy, courtesy of the Duke. He speaks in outdated grammar, making fun of “Magical Moments”, perhaps an offhanded reference to the sappy Ben E King classic, “This Magic Moment”, an anthem of the young lovers that he has such hatred for. He’s an angry, envious villain, and this sarcasm simply enforces that. It also references Bowie’s situation, with it referencing Shakespeare’s The Tempest, particularly a line spoken by Prospero, a sorcerer consumed by his magic. “Bending sound, dredging the ocean, lost in my circle.” This is a simultaneous reference to Bowie’s musical influence, the Duke’s power, and the occultism that is woven throughout the track. The Duke is Bowie, and Bowie’s influence on music is still felt strongly today, even after his death. He believes that he has changed the musical landscape, and will keep doing so, bending the sound that the world hears to his own preference. The Duke’s hold on Bowie is also referenced, with his power being so great that he can dredge great oceans, so keeping this human musician under his grasp is no effort. These first two statements are merely bragging, but the last line is especially interesting. The reference to being lost in a circle is an important reference to Kabbalah, a sect of jewish mysticism. One of Kabbalah’s many aspects is the idea of stations, through which God, wisdom, and the infinite are found. Two of these stations are referenced later in the song. “Here am I, flashing no color, tall in this room overlooking the ocean” This is a reference to the Duke’s appearance, and fame. When Bowie would assume the role of the Thin White Duke on stage, he would leave behind the colorful costumes of his other personas such as the red wig of Ziggy Stardust or Halloween Jack’s eyepatch, and wear a simple white dress shirt with black slacks as well as a black waistcoat. No color but black and white. The Duke resides in this penthouse overlooking the ocean that he has the power to dredge, jaded by his fame. “Here are we, one magical movement from Kether to Malkuth” This is perhaps the largest reference to the occult on the entire album, as he namedrops two of the major stations of Kabbalah, Kether and Malkuth. Kether and Malkuth, The Crown and The Kingdom. Kether lies at the top of the Kabbalah tree of life, and is incomprehensible to man, while Malkuth lies at the bottom, where man roams. The distance between them is infinite, and impossible to travel through, further showing the Duke’s power if he can travel between the two. “There are you, drive like a demon from station to station” This is perhaps the most confounding line of the entire song, and has perhaps the most personal meaning to Bowie himself, as well as the album’s ultimate outcome for the Duke. I believe that this is Bowie’s conscious addressing him, with the impossible task of going from Kether to Malkuth, from one station to the other being compared to going from cynicism to love. The Station to Station that the album and the song refer to is bettering himself as a person. Upon realizing this, Bowie goes into denial, and calls upon the Duke again, uttering his mantra over and over. “Making sure white stains” One final reference to Bowie’s obsession with the occult, he alludes to Aliester Crowly’s novel, White Stains, further affirming the spiritual nature of the song. After this, the Duke is back in control, and the song’s beat switches from it’s brooding soul march into an upbeat krautdisco tune. The cynicism is in full display, as the Duke mocks the concept of love, and shows what is seemingly regret over the love he has lost. “Once there were mountains and mountains and once there were sunbirds to soar with and once I could never be down” The Duke reminisces, that once, love and affection was easy. Once, he wasn’t weighed down by the fame that he has now, and was free to soar. Once, he was happy. But that’s gone. Love abandoned him, and he’s vengeful. “Got to keep searching and searching, and oh what will I be believing and who will connect me with love? Oh, wonderful, wonder who, wonder when? He must search for something else to feed the void inside himself, and love can’t be it. He hasn't found someone that can fix the bond that he cut with romance, but Bowie seems to be open to it, if the opportunity comes about. “Have you sought fortune, evasive and shy? Drink to the men who protect you and I, drink, drink, drain your glass, raise your glass high” He’s once again looking back, but at his fame. The Duke believes that he’s done everything that there is to do. Cheers to fortune, cheers to fame, but I’ve drained my glass, he says. He made the music he wanted to, he’s achieved what he wanted to. There’s nothing left for him. Next he begins to once again mock romantics, with one of the most cynical lines in the song. He wails in a drunken-sounding voice, “It’s not the side effects of the cocaine, I’m thinking that it must be love.” It IS the side effects of the cocaine. The Duke doesn’t believe that love can truly exist anymore, so he creates a weak replacement with his addiction and attraction to narcotics. “It’s too late, to be grateful, it’s too late, to be late again, it’s too late, to be hateful” He’s lost his chances at a true connection. It’s too late to find someone to love. It’s too late to hate as well, because what’s done is done. But he can still try. “The European Canon is here” This is the most repeated lyric on the entire track, and its meaning is rather unclear. I believe that it ties into the European political canon. The Duke’s character was extremely right wing, and this led Bowie to be labeled as a fascist during this dark time for him. Ultimately, I believe that the canon referred to is a personal idea of his. That’s all I have so far. Please feel free to give tips on how to make this as good as it can be
2020.09.20 21:46 biglift5560Pickup Roleplay with Wife (first time)
So my wife and I planned an upcoming weekend getaway in honor of my birthday. A few days ago, she says "I hope this doesn't sound silly, but..." and proceeded to ask if I'd be interested in bar pickup role-playing with her on the trip. We have a fairly active sexual relationship, but this kinda came out of left field. It's a big deal for her to open up and communicate a fantasy of that magnitude with me. I was so happy she did (and I've been turned on ever since). Basically, I'm looking to make it as great of an experience as I can for her. I'm open to any and all advice from both men and women on how I can do that. Please post away. I'll outline what I'm thinking so far, below. She's generally the more submissive of the two of us, so keep that in mind. Setup: Basically, she comes down from her hotel room into the hotel bar. She's there to meet someone for a date, but they haven't shown yet, so she sits and waits. I'm sitting nearby, and after a few minutes, I approach and ask why she's sitting alone. After her reply, I'll say that I'm also waiting for someone who hasn't shown, and ask if I can keep her company while we both wait (I'll later reveal that I was never actually waiting on anyone, and was looking to pickup a young innocent girl to take up to a room and have my way with). After some small talk, I'll inquire further into what her date plans entailed, and then become more aggressive with my approach as it appears her date isn't coming at all. Ill eventually blatantly ask if I can accompany her back to her room and promise her that her night won't have gone to waste. When we get up to the door of her room, I plan on firmly grabbing her wrist when she goes to slide the keycard and open the door, stopping her. Ill firmly press her up against the door, raise her dress in the back slightly, and spank her once. Then ill turn her around, kiss her firmly, and say "If you like being treated like that, go ahead and lead me inside. If not, now's your chance to back out." (my wife has hinted at wanting to try small/brief sexual acts in public. I figure doing all of this in the hallway might be a small introduction into that, and see if she likes it). Once inside, ill definitely be playing the dominant role. So far, I'm considering some of the following: -Tell her up front that she has to ask my permission before taking any actions in the bedroom. She must reply to all of my commands, with "yes sir" or "no sir" -Command her onto her knees to suck my dick. -"Accidentally" find her vibrator and tell her to masturbate while she confesses to me what kind of images and porn get her off -Bend her over the bed, fuck her until im about to cum, then turn her around and have her put her mouth over my tip, taking the load -Spank her frequently and call her a "bad little girl," "dirty little slut," and things of that nature. I know she enjoys that. -If she enjoyed the display in the hallway, maybe opening up our window curtain, turning out the light, and fucking her up against the window. I'm open to any ideas on changes or additions. Wanting to take this very seriously and make it wonderful for her. Disclaimer: I'm well aware of the need for safe words, so we've got that covered.
2020.09.20 21:03 MistresspreslieWhy sex workers support Donald Trump
Interesting isn't it?🧐 Republicans are conservative, that's just a fact. And sex workers are just . . . Not. Lol! A conservative sex worker is one who conceals their face while posting naughty pictures online. But why do so many sex workers lean towards President Trump versus Joe Biden? I was a stripper for nine years, now running an onlyfans site & online webcamming. Throughout my whole career I have been a diehard Republican. I am from New Jersey which is a very liberal state, but I do come from a Republican county. The area I live in has a lot of wealth and they don't want to see more of it go to taxes. So that has always stuck with me, Democrats will raise taxes. Even if they raised property taxes last year, they will raise them again this year I started dancing in 2011 under the Obama administration. I was 18 years old when I started, and all of the "older" strippers had told me that before the recession they were killing it. Once the recession hit they had to fight to make money. At this time in 2011 things were slowly getting better. People were getting out of that recession mentality; "save every penny because you could lose your job tomorrow." But the industry had no way recovered to pre-2008 standards. I had gotten really lucky. I was 18 years old "fresh meat" and I was going to make money just because I was the new girl. But I watched a lot of girls struggle to make $200 on a weekend night that should bring in $600+ easily. I had two good summers, in 2012 and 2013. I was a new face, I was still a "teen," like I said, "fresh meat" sells better. 2014 was horrible! I was only 21 years old and it was an awful summer, no one was making money. The Jersey shore was dead, rentals were empty. Hurricane Sandy hit in November 2012, most businesses were back up and running in the summer of 2013. Some had yet to reopen in 2013, but by the summer of 2014 All of the businesses had re-opened, all of the rentals have been fixed and open for business. But only half were booked ON WEEKENDS. Weekdays were absolutely dead. Our club being 3 miles from the beach relied heavily on this summer traffic. During 2014 there waa no difference between summer and winter. Both were the same, disappointing. Many of my friends were struggling, needing to work 6 days a week just to get by. 2015 got a little bit better, but not much. And then a big change came in 2016. 2016 was an election year, and yes strippers talk politics. Now 23 years old and dancing for five years I was already a veteran. I was one of the highest earners at the club and people would often come to me for money making advice. I also love talking politics, history, and proving people wrong; so the dressing room hosted A LOT of political debates. "Welcome to debate club, strippers edition." 😂 A lot of the new, younger girls were very excited about Hillary Clinton running for President. They were hoping that she would win, that she would legalize marijuana, that she would "change" this country. But the girls who had been dancing for years, the girls who were making a lot of money. . . They were all for candidate Trump. "Why would you vote for Trump?" Was a question I was frequently asked. "Trump wants to make abortion illegal!" "Trump will never legalize marijuana!" Those were the biggest complaints about Trump. As for abortion, I believe the woman has the right to choose. But I also know politics. I know that Trump is from New York and he's not super conservative, he is not from the Bible belt, he is never going to waste his time making abortions illegal in this country. He knows they are a necessary evil. But will he say he is against it? Absolutely, he needs to please those ultra conservative voters. Something A LOT OF PEOPLE don't understand. As for marijuana, I think we need the extra revenue so that the Democrats could spend it. But would Hillary Clinton have been able to make it legal with a Republican controlled Senate. (And house at the time I believe). . I don't think so. And like I stated the girls who were making a lot of money, who had invested in other businesses and were getting ready to retire, or who had owned real estate. . . They were all voting for Trump. "The Trump girls," did not want to pay more money in taxes in a very high tax state. They wanted to be able to use their extra income to invest in other opportunities, to invest in their kids college education, or go to school themselves. Of course the younger Clinton voters weren't even claiming taxes, so they didn't care how much she raised our taxes. They wanted to collect more welfare because their income was totally off the books. President Trump ended up winning the election, and very quickly Something Happened. The stock market started going up. As mentioned, we are from a republican wealthy county in New Jersey. A lot of these men work in New York on Wall Street, or are heavily invested in the market. Once the stock market went up, the club was popping! The winter of 2016-2017 was amazing. People felt more secure to spend money, Guys had no problem dropping $3,4,500 in the VIP room. We finally had a huge shower of singles on stage for the first time in forever. And this was only the winter. Summer 2017 came and it was my best summer ever. It was my best summer even though by mid august I was barely working as I was suffering horrible morning sickness when I got pregnant with my first child. $1500 could be made in 2-3 hours on a weekend night. If you got really lucky it could be made as a tip in a 15 minute VIP room. 2017 was the summer of money! My life took a turn however. After I had my son I really didn't work that much. I would go in one or two days a month. But it was still enough for me to be able to buy my very first apartment! If I had worked like that during the Obama years, I would have been struggling to pay rent. However I was paying a mortgage and saving money. I basically call myself semi-retired now. And now I am entering my third trimester with my second baby. But from august 2017-january 2020 on a two day a month schedule, I was able to save enough money to put a down payment on a bigger home. The taxes in this state are ridiculous, and we will never vote in a Republican governor to lower our taxes. But the last thing I need is higher federal taxes. Instead of debating The legalization of marijuana, I am now having debates about college education for my kids. Why wouldn't I vote for Joe Biden who believes in free college education? I am going to have two children to put through college. And that answer is very simple. My kids are young. I have 15 1/2 more years to save for my older son and I started saving for him a week after he was born. Even if I only put away $2000 a year, he will have $36,000 once he turns 18; enough to pay for his first year. Invested in the S&P 500 that could easily be $70,000. What if I have a good year and I could invest another thousand dollars? Joe Biden wants to give us free community college which is what? 5K a year? Even if he did make four year colleges free, would they be only state schools? Im sure private schools wouldn't be free. At rutgers the current tuition in-state is about $10,000/year. 4 years would be $40,000. With what I am saving right now, I would only be $4000 short of covering all four years of college. That is not calculating gains from the market. But what if my taxes were raised another $2000 a year? That money would be going to the government instead of saving for my son. What if he increased taxes to 50%? Not only would I not be able to save money for my kids I wouldn't be able to save money for short term goals. I recently became an only fans creator, taking advantage of my pregnancy and the fetish industry. Some of these woman are making $300,000+ a year. I have been much more successful in a month than I ever thought I would. My reason for starting this work was to help my husband fund our home renovation. I thought I would be able to help with little things, but now I am going to be able to help with bigger things and save money for my kids college fund. As I am learning more about the online sex worker industry, I see all of the expenses these girls have. They need to buy good cameras and film equipment. Constantly on their phones, you need good service and a lot of data. New content is a must for success, hence new outfits, backdrops, toys, props, and shoes for the foot fetish guys! All of the money needs to be claimed INCLUDING tips. It's not like being a stripper where the majority of your money goes unclaimed, in fact it can't even be tracked because it's cash tipped to you behind a closed VIP room curtain. Every dime an Only Fans creator makes is carefully logged and must be claimed at the end of the year. And let's not forget Only Fans takes 20% of your earnings off the top, to run their website and because of the high fees credit card companies charge because it is considered a "high risk industry." So creators lose 20% off the top. I would say they easily spend 10% of their income on work related expenses for making their content better. Some pay for promotions so that their pages grow faster. Others NEED assistants or hire other experts. We employ a lot of other people! But 30% is gone right away. Then you have to pay taxes, depending on your state and your tax bracket it could be as little as 15% and as much as 40%! Let's say we need to pay 25% in taxes just like a lot of people. That's 55% of our money gone. Let's say you're doing pretty well on only fans making $5000 a month, $60,000/year. $12,000 you'll never even see. $6000 goes towards all of the expenses and is tax deductible. And now you have to pay taxes on $42,000. $10,500 (25%) and $16,800(40%) doesn't seem like a big difference, but it is when you put in so much hard work. Imagine making $60,000 but only having $25,000 to show for it after taxes. It makes it not even worth it. Even if you're working 12 hours a day/7 days a week and making $200,000/year on Only fans, having less than $100,000 in your pocket at the end of the day is complete BS! Some might ask, why not switch sites? Live cam sites take 40% or more of your money! If you're a stay at home mom like me, you can't stream live on camera while your kid is home or awake. So now that I got into the financials of online sex work, you can understand why so many sex workers support President Trump. Unlike a regular job, we have to pay a fee just to make money. We don't want our taxes raised on top of it! Then there are the customers. We rely on customers to put their credit card into a Onlyfans, and spend anywhere from $3 to $20 a month on a creator's subscription profile. Despite many people losing their jobs because of Covid, the site has been busier than ever. Instead of going out to clubs, movies, or taking girls on dates, guys have been going on dates with their favorite online sex worker. but not everybody is able to do that at the moment. If you are struggling, if you can't pay your bills, you're not going to be spending money on online porn, let's be real. Covid and the impact it has had on jobs is not the Presidents' fault. I'm thinking back to that horrible summer of 2014 when Obama was in office. How slow would Only Fans be if this was 2014. With so many extra creators trying to make money because they also have lost jobs, there would be very few girls making big money, and the majority making nothing. Right now you have a lot of girls making a lot of money, a lot of girls making a decent living, and just a few making pennies. I think President Trump has given customers confidence that the economy is going to turn around, that jobs are going to come back. He has also given them an amazing economy over the past few years that has allowed people to fill their savings accounts. We are not in the "save every penny mentality," that I saw in 2011 when things were recovering from a big recession. That's Another reason many sex workers support Trump. He gives clients the confidence to spend their hard earned money. There are many issues that sex workers do not agree with Republicans on. The biggest I could think of is abortion & the woman's right to choose. Prostitution is another big one, especially for me. I would love to see legal prostitution in New Jersey one day! I would be so proud if my son could own New Jersey's first legal brothel. The reasons why I support LEGAL prostitution is a totally different argument, but Republicans would never support that! Yet I still side with Republicans. We side with Republicans because we want to have better lives not only for ourselves but for our children. And in this country you need money to have a better life. You need money to move from a tiny two bedroom apartment into a simple townhouse. You need money to invest in your children's future so they don't need to be sex workers. You need money to invest in another business so you don't need to sext all day long. And you need money if you want to clear your head and take a vacation or go to the spa for a day! And that money does better in the hands of individual citizens to choose what they want to do with it, versus in the hands of the government! If you have the "guts" to be a sex worker you should be compensated. It is a huge industry that makes billions of dollars, and provides jobs for millions of people. (and I say GUTS because not everyone can have the confidence to go online and show their body to strangers. Not everyone could act. Not everyone could stand tall and tell the world, I send nude videos for a living.) I could stand tall and say it! I am a sex worker! I work really hard for my money! I show my body on camera to random men, and I'm good at it! And I don't want Joe Biden to come in and raise taxes under the farce of "free college." I don't need Joe Biden to make everyday working men lose confidence in our economy. And I certainly don't need to spend priceless time to decipher what the hell Joe Biden is trying to say to me (sorry I had to add that! 😂) And if the day ever comes that I decide I don't want to do this work anymore, I know President Trump has made the economy great and could make it even better, allowing me to find another well-paying job to support my family. Written by me: -Mistress Preslie 🖤💋
2020.09.20 20:17 Takoma_dThe burden of catering to the male ego (Rant)
I just finished reading a post where OP had an abusive ex who sent OP's current boyfriend a sextape and dick pic. Op's post was about how her boyfriend had been distant ever since, had felt insecure, and how OP had been doing their best to repair their relationship, going out if her way to comfort and reassure him while he neglected her. A few weeks ago there was another post where OP's ex had been invited to OP's parents house without her knowledge, so when she showed up with her bf, bf got angry at her for "not cutting him out". Op tried yo reassure bf, stating that the ex wad a friend of the family, but bf still retaliated by ditching her on their anniversary and likely cheating. In both of these cases, the woman's ex boyfriend has done something out of OP's control. In both cases that action causes their current boyfriend to feel insecure or jealous, and in a way demand reassurance from them in order to repair the damage. Why is it that when someone does something they have no control over, the woman has to make the man feel better? Is it our job to make sure they don't have to do the emotional work of being a mature and rational adults......The answer unfortunately seems to be yes. This is a sweeping generalizing statement intended to be a blanket term, and like most blanket terms it is widely applicable but does not apply to each individual. However, when a man feels insecure in a relationship, more often than not instead of addressing his own problems in a healthy way, he puts the onus on his partner to make him feel better, and will often blame her is she doesn't (sometimes even if she does!). I have personally had a past boyfriend get mad because I got dressed up to go out with him and other men ended up looking at me- I didn't engage them or talk to them he was angry just that they were looking, an action I had no control over. I have had a previous boyfriend get angry at me because a guy I had a single coffee date with walked into my place of work, so we politely chatted for a bit. I was made to feel like I needed to apologize, like what I did was bad somehow, despite the fact I had 0 control over someone who is practically a stranger stumbling into a fairly popular shop. I wasn't allowed to talk about men trying to hit on me at work, I wasn't allowed to mention any compliments I'd recieved from men throughout my day, be it to complain that they were creepy or to mention that it made me feel good. I've discarded a flower I was given by a man handing out flowers indiscriminately to all people who passed by because I was afraid of my partner being jealous. This is such a disgustingly common theme. People get jealous. It's normal and frankly healthy to have that pang sometimes, but the way we are expected to tip toe around it is not. If us women reacted the way to these small uncontrollable instances the way men did they would call us overbearing, psychotic, and clingy. In my first example about OP's ex sending a sextape to her boyfriend, that was a form of abuse and vicious sexual harrassment against her. Yet, she had to put that all aside to make sure her partner didn't feel too butthurt that she's been sexual with another man in the past. A man who took advantage of her and abused her. I'm just so sick of reddit and society as a whole pushing women and women's feelings to the side because a man feels a little uncomfortable about it. It's sexist. It's misogynist. It's selfish. We aren't a man's property and we aren't responsible if the actions of OTHER MEN make them feel jealous or insecure. Aren't they grown ups? They can talk it out with the other guy if that's their prerogative but I'm done acting like it's our fault and our responsibility when other men are shitty.
2020.09.20 20:15 JanejanetAre you looking for a mistress to train and feminized you to become a perfect sissy? Kik me janejanet1234
I’d like to share some experience, ideas, and tips I’ve put together after about 19 years of dominating my sissies. This is all my personal experience, so it won’t apply to everyone . Firstly, I need to share that we aren’t in a 24/7 Domme-sub relationship. That doesn’t interest me or my BF. My BF came to me about 4 ½ years ago and confessed some of his desires for femdom sex, and I decided to entertain it with him. It’s been a lot of fun, but I’m not making it a “lifestyle”, although we do have some “extended” sessions, which I’ll detail later in this post. Its something we do for fun in the bedroom (well, not always in the bedroom). We still have frequent “vanilla” sex, he’s actually quite good at it. :) That being said, I’m not here to pass judgement on anyone else, or pretend to be an expert on the subject of BDSM. My current BF is the only person I’ve played with like this, but we’ve learned a lot about femdom by experimenting, reading, and talking to each other. A good portion of these ideas and suggestions were his idea, and many are mine. Some may think that this is topping from the bottom, but I don’t take it too seriously. This is all just in good fun for us. Also, even though I talk about some of the stuff below being “forced”, that’s not to imply he hasn’t consented. We always have a safeword, and we discuss generalities before we decide on trying something new (although I do definitely surprise him with new activities to push his limits). Also, keep safety in mind with any activity. Not all of this is safe for every couple or every person. So, with all that out of the way, lets get to it! I approach femdom by classifying activities into 4 categories, then I put them together for an experience. The categories I use are: Degradation/Humiliation, Pain and Control, Frustration/Teasing, and Service. I’ll go over activities in each then describe how I put them together. DEGRADATION/HUMILIATION This is a very fun category and can include a lot of different things. Here’s a list of activities that I enjoy inflicting on him. Forced feminization - I frequently make him wear women’s clothing during our sessions. This can include lots of different outfits. Feel free to mix and match to your taste. Amazon is great for getting lingerie on a budget. I like to go with really girly colors and patterns for my guy. My favorites are: High heels. These are an absolute necessity. You don’t need to spend a lot of money on these, but you might want more than one pair if you insist his outfits match. Lingerie. This can include teddies, stockings, babydoll, fishnet dresses, etc. Just a pair of panties. This makes him feel very exposed. I like ones that ride up his little butt (cheekies, thongs), but still cover his entire penis. Don’t let him wear anything else. Pasties. This is very, very fun. Pasties are cheap, and not something you ever see a man wearing. A pair of high heels, pink thong, and some pasties is great outfit for him to wear while he cleans the bathroom for you. Schoolgirl outfit. This is a classic, and can lead to some incredible role-playing situations. The skirt should be short enough you can see his little white panties peeking out without even bending over. French Maid. Another classic, useful for the Service category I’ll go into later. Makeup. This is a favorite activity. I love giving him a makeover. Super slutty makeup is the best and can be combined with any outfit. Tight jeans, yoga pants, leggings. Pair these with a skin tight top and you’ve got a great outfit for lounging around the house. Short shorts. These can be cut off jean type shorts, yoga style shorts, or anything you like. The shorter the better. Corset. Use this to give him a girlish figure! Women’s bodystocking. These are hilarious. They come in all kinds of patterns and colors, and are really cheap. Halloween costumes. Great for any time of year! Amazon has cheap playboy bunny outfits, tinkerbell costumes, sexy nurse, etc. There are so many to choose from! Pegging/dildo play - This falls into the pain category as well depending on your mood. I really feel that in order to make this act as degrading as possible, its important to get a dildo that looks and feels like a real penis. It should have balls and be a realistic skin tone. It should also be at least slightly bigger than his own penis (within reason). A big aspect that makes pegging so humiliating is the mental side to it. Obviously, there’s some physical to it as well, but just being forced to “deal” with a dick is mortifying to most straight men. Some activities involving your strapon or dildo: Deepthroat training. Let’s eliminate that gag reflex ladies! Seriously one of the most degrading things you can do to your man is fucking his face. I like to recreate positions from porn in this activity. Relax on the couch or chair while wearing your strapon. Put him on his knees and make him get to work. If he’s not going deep enough grab his hair and force his face down on that dick! Trust me, he can take it. Don’t be gentle. Make sure he maintains eye contact like a good little porn star! I also like to have him lay on his back on the bed or couch, with his head hanging over the side and cram my dick down his throat. Do this until he gags, over and over, he’ll be drooling all over himself soon enough. Have him lie down on his back, then straddle his upper chest/neck area so the only thing you can see is his face. Put your dildo in his mouth and jackhammer that thing down his throat. Don’t be scared of hurting him, even if your dildo is on the large side of realistic. he’ll eventually be able to take it balls deep. He might complain that it doesn’t fit. Well, its your job to MAKE it fit. Yes he’s going to cough and gag, a lot, yes he’s going to have a lot of drool and mucus coming out of his mouth. That’s OK. Don’t be deterred by any sounds, drool, or complaints. Also give him instructions and compliments when appropriate (“yeah, show me your tongue” “hands behind your back and open wide bitch” “give me that throat” “that’s a good little cocksucker”) EDIT: I’ve received several questions about this point. I’ll clarify exactly what were doing here and why. When I make him suck my dildo, I’m not getting any physical pleasure out of it and neither is he. This is not meant to be physically pleasurable to us, it’s meant to make him feel like my bitch. When you do this, make it an ordeal he needs to suffer through. When he’s on his knees in front of you, fuck his mouth hard and fast. Really make an effort to get your entire dildo down his throat as you thrust in and out. Make him suffer here for quite some time, 5, 10, 15 minutes even. Don’t let him get away with pulling his head away or anything either. Make him keep your dick in his mouth, see how long you can keep it buried balls deep in his mouth, lock your legs around his head if necessary. His jaw and throat should be very sore after this ordeal, and his face should be a mess of slobber and spit. Once he can take your whole dildo down his throat without gagging, its time to upgrade to something longer and/or thicker. Your goal should be to have him performing at THIS LEVEL and he won’t get there without proper training. Butt fucking. Work up to this using your fingers, plugs (he should wear a large sized one for a while before a pegging session), and other toys, but eventually your goal should be forceful pounding. Make him feel what its like to really get fucked. While pegging him, yank his hair, push his face down into the bed or floor, slap his ass. Be creative with positions and locations. One of my favorites is the tile kitchen floor, he doesn’t have to be comfortable while getting fucked. Use lots and lots of lube here, it makes getting your dick in a lot easier on both of you. Dildo masturbation. Make him suck and fuck himself with a dildo or other toys for your amusement. This one can be done with very minimal effort on your part. Just give him a toy, order him to the corner, and tell him to get it up his ass. Using other objects to fuck him with. This can be a lot of fun, but be careful. Some items I’ve fucked him with: Beer bottle, drumsticks, vodka bottle, Forced Nudity - This one is simple, but you can spice it up with toys if you like. Simply order him to be naked while you remain clothed. If you like, make him wear a butt plug that you can smack and wiggle around while he gets you a drink. Put a collar on him if you want, or combine this with forced feminization from above (for example make him wear only high heels, lipstick, and a chastity cage for the evening). Sometimes its fun to combine this with pegging. I’ll strap my dick on over my jeans, while he’s completely naked. Its a very humbling experience for him. I also frequently have him sleep naked. Forced Performances. This is very entertaining and again a low-effort humiliation. Sometimes I like to put on some music and have him dance for me. I’ll make him perform a little strip tease, twerk, etc. Sometimes I will have him masturbate for me. I’ll give directions. (these are great times for video recording) Spitting. We’re getting a little more extreme here. Don’t be afraid to spit on your male. This can be especially degrading during pegging, even more so during deepthroat training. While he’s making eye contact, just launch a huge wad of spit right in his face. He’ll love you for it! It can also be degrading while you’re criticizing his performance to spit in his face. Golden showers. We haven’t worked our way up to here yet, and to be honest, I don’t know if I want to. Something we have tried in this area though, making him lick me clean after I take a piss. Verbal humiliation (Disclaimer: Talk to your partner about this first if you’re worried about crossing a line with him, because this can be emotionally charged.) I really like this, and to me, there are two components. 1. You degrading him with words. 2. Making him degrade himself with words. 1 You degrading him. Name calling. Call him degrading names. This can include the following: Bitch, sissy, cunt, slut, whore, piece of shit, stupid, worthless. Penis humiliation/emasculation. This is common on femdom porn sites. Make fun of the size of his dick, his sexual ability, the things he lets you do to him, etc. Terms like shrimp-dick, bitch boy, butt boy, fuck-hole, cum eater, cum dumpster, cocksucker, limp dick. etc. Combine insults. Example: “You’re a little limp dick cocksucker.” “You’re a little cum eating bitch, aren’t you?” Being forceful and insulting with your directions. Example: Instead of saying “get on your knees and suck my dick”, say “Get on your fucking knees and get this dick down your throat you little bitch.” Instead of using his name and telling him to bend over the kitchen table for his pegging, say something like, “Hey shrimp-dick! Get in here, bend over the table and get fucked.” Instead of saying come here and lick my pussy say “get over here and make me cum you little piece of shit”. Tell him what you’re going to do to him later. Send him a text letting him know you’re going to make him eat your pussy and send him away hard and frustrated. Order him to do things for you. *MOST IMPORTANTLY: Don’t be afraid to raise your voice, or even yell. Its encouraged in this situation that you will be very forceful with your voice. Yell in his face if he isn’t licking your pussy correctly. Yell in his face after you cum and tell him to get the fuck off the bed and do the dishes.
Making him degrade himself. This can be really fun.
Make him beg. Use this for anything, make him beg to fuck you, beg you to peg him, beg you to let him masturbate, beg you to let him eat his cum, beg you to spank him, etc. It doesn’t even have to be something he wants. The key to this though, is to make sure his begging meets your standards. If you don’t believe he really wants it, punish him and make him try again, and again until you really believe him. Make him apologize. Maybe the orgasm he gave you was mediocre. Maybe he didn’t take your dildo up his ass with enough enthusiasm. Maybe when you told him to deepthroat your strapon, he couldn’t get his nose to touch your stomach like you insisted. He should be punished for such infractions, but he should also tell you how sorry he is first. (maybe after his punishment too.) Make sure he apologizes sincerely for any shortcomings. Shit, sometimes I make him apologize for having a small dick (even though he doesn’t). Make him thank you. Did you let him have an orgasm? Did you fuck his little butthole really well? Did you let him lick your asshole? He needs to thank you for the privlege. Make him confess. Make him tell you his fantasies. This works especially well if you have him on the edge of orgasm. Make him confess a deep, dark fantasy that he’s never told anyone before. (He’ll probably run out of ideas at some point, you can punish him for that) Public Play. There are some really fun ways you can take this play out of the house for some really great humiliation that doesn’t involve violating other people boundaries. Clothes shopping. I enjoy taking him to stores, wal-mart, target, etc. and picking out some really girly panties and outfits for him to wear. If there isn’t anyone around, I’ll occasionally make him go try them on in the dressing room. Wearing plugs or other toys in public. And finally, for one of the most humiliating things a man can ever do…… Swallowing cum and/or getting a facial. He fucking hates this, which is why I love it. Any time he has an orgasm during any femdom activity, he’s eating it or its going on his face. I don’t care where it lands, how he came, if it was an accident, or if he really doesn’t want to. That cum is going in his mouth and down his throat. There are a lot of ways to accomplish this, but I really enjoy planning ahead for it. Its also a huge turn on for him, knowing that he’s going to be forced to eat it, even though immediately after he cums he’s absolutely repulsed by it. Some of my favorite ways to do this are: Make him cum into a condom, then empty it into his mouth. Make him have a ruined orgasm (I’ll explain later) onto the tile or hardwood floor. Then make him lick it up. If he resists, shove his face in it. If you have carpet, that isn’t a problem. Make him suck the cum out of it until its all gone. If you let him cum inside you or on you, make him suck the cum out of you or lick it off of you. While he’s wearing a pair of panties, rub his dick until he cums in them. Then peel them off and make him lick it out, or smear them all over his face. Flip his legs over his head into the piledriver position (good for pegging also) and make him shoot his load all over his own face. This is a favorite of mine, simply because of the role reversal mind fuck going on in his head. I also like making him leave the jizz on his face for the rest of the day. Make him cum into a glass and then pour it into his mouth, or pour it all over his face and/or hair. However he gets the cum into his mouth, occasionally I’ll have him “play” with it. Gargle it, show it to me on his tongue, drool it out and then suck it back up like a porn star. EDIT: Ladies, he’s going to be much more compliant with eating his semen if he has had a ruined orgasm instead of a pleasurable one. I mention this below but I’ll go into some more detail here. When your man has an orgasm his sexual desire drops off a cliff. He won’t want to eat his cum and will resist. But if you give him a ruined orgasm, he doesn’t get much pleasure at all, and his sexual desire remains high, but he still can expel a good amount of sperm. The goal here is to make his semen come out of his dick without pleasure, but for most men, the pleasure and orgasm actually begins several seconds before he ejaculates. So I like to have fun with this. With him on his knees and his hands restrained I’ll stroke his dick until he gets very close to orgasm, and then when I think hes right on the edge, I’ll let go and watch. I’ll wait about 20 seconds and if no semen comes out, start again. If you’ve done this perfectly, his semen will leak out about 10-15 seconds AFTER you stopped stroking it. He’ll be left sexually frustrated, but you actually DID give him an orgasm, its not your fault he didn’t feel it! He’ll be much more compliant in regards to consuming semen in this way. I like to combine this with chastity sometimes too. I’ll have him locked in the cage for a few days, give him a ruined orgasm and then put him back in. Its wonderful! ADDED HUMILIATION BONUS! For added humiliation, I frequently take pictures and video of my pet during these humiliating sessions. I keep these and then use them later for addiitonal humiliaiton. Seriously, having a video of him, with his face covered in his own semen, apologizing for not deepthroating my strapon well enough, all while dressed in daisy dukes and a bikini top….well that’s just good entertainment. Sometimes I make him watch some of the videos with me and laugh at him. It always results in a giant erection in his pants, haha. PAIN AND CONTROL DISCLAIMER: It seems online, many people are nervous about this category, and with good reason. Its sometimes hard to tell what your partner is comfortable with, and they may not even be sure of it themselves. So take all of this slowly at first until you and your partner can figure out what works for you. That being said, I seek to push right up against my boyfriend’s limits here. This is where the “forced” part of the humiliation listed above becomes more real. There are several ways to inflict some pain on your male, here are some of my favorites. Face slapping. I really enjoy this. Nothing gets his attention so quickly as a pop to the side of his cheek. Several (5-6) in quick succession create a look of fear in his face that I love. He can take a lot of punishment here too, just watch out for his eyes and ears. This is an especially good thing to practice while you’re fucking his face or he’s licking your pussy and/or ass. Use your slaps to get his attention, give direction, and have fun. “I slap told slap you slap to slapfocus slap on slap my slap clit!! slap” Hair Pulling. Grab his hair and yank his head around. Do this while pegging (in any position), while he’s giving you oral (or sucking your dildo), to lead him where you want him, to hold his head in place while you slap him, to force his face into a puddle of semen, etc. Spanking/whipping. The most common. I like to use a belt, flogger, occasionally a cane. Cock and Ball Torture. Another common theme on femdom websites. Here’s a list of techniques I use. Squeezing/Pinching. Grab his balls and squeeze. Pinch the head of his dick. Slapping. Simple. To make it hurt worse, you can grab his balls into one hand and hold them tight and steady while you slap. Punching. Same as above but creates a lot more pain. :) Kicking. Kicking him right in the balls after you just fucked his ass can be quite the experience for both of you. Take this one more slowly haha. Nipple Play. Most people know about this already. Use clamps, clothespins, pinches, flicks, twists, and scrapes to inflict some pain here. He can take more than you think. Chemical Play. Ok, we’re getting to some more extreme areas here again. This is not to be taken lightly, as many people’s bodies react differently. Here’s a list of things we’ve tried. Ice cubes. Rub on his penis, balls, asshole, and nipples. This can sometimes eliminate a pesky erection in a pinch. I’ve inserted cubes into his anus as well, he doesn’t like that lol. Ben-gay/Icy Hot. Rub this on the penis balls, taint, and anus. This creates a very unpleasant burning sensation. My pet feels very intense pain for about 10-20 minutes. It then subsides to a mild cooling sensation. Tabasco/hot sauce. Same as above, rub on genitals and asshole. Your man’s experience will vary here depending on the type of sauce you use, the duration you leave it on, and the amount you use. I reserve this for serious punishment. I once poured some hot sauce on the dildo I fucked him with. Let’s just say he didn’t have a great night. Electricity. You need to be even more careful here. My only experience is a dog shock collar. I attach the collar around his penis and testicles. It has a vibrate function (for when he’s been a good boy) and 8 levels of shocks. We’ve gotten up to level 6. He really hopes I don’t have to use 7 or 8 on him. You can experiment with the position of the collar on his genitals. If the contacts are touching his balls, he’ll feel it throughout his sack and his perineum. If you flip it over and the contacts touch the base of his penis, shocking sensations will affect his entire penis, all the way to the head. We’ve experimented with different levels here, and it seems his penis is much more sensitive to electricity than his balls are. Your man’s experience may vary. This collar also has a sound/beeping function that I use as a pager when I need him. If his balls beep, he has 10 seconds to be on his knees in front of me, regardless of his prior activity, or else he’ll face punishment. Bondage and Restraints. I keep this simple as I don’t enjoy taking the time to set up intricate bondage situations. I’m sure my BF would like it, but its just too much effort when I can use simpler items to accomplish the same things. I own a few types of gags, a collar and leash, handcuffs, bed restraint system and, my favorite, a spreader bar (bar with cuffs for hands and feet). Control. A lot of the more severe pain and control items above are essentially just a method to get my guy to do what he’s told. This is where the “forced” aspect really comes into play. For example, he absolutely hates eating sperm. But if I want him to eat sperm, he’s going to fucking eat it. So I use pain to get him to do it. One way I do this is with the electric dog collar and handcuffs. After he cums, and there’s a load of sperm sitting there on the floor, I give him a choice. Either put your face on it and suck up all that lovely sperm, or, get shocked in increasing intervals and strength. Eventually he’ll do it. This is an area where we’ve both agreed that he doesn’t get a choice any longer. He submits to being forced to lick his jizz off the floor. Another example is dildo play. If i instruct him to deepthroat my strapon, and get the entire 7 inches down his throat while maintaining eye contact, that’s his job to do. If he doesn’t, I inflict pain. For example, I might start by slapping his face as a warning if he’s disobeying, increasing the strength and quantity of the slaps as I try to work the dildo down his throat. If that doesn’t work, I move on to other means. I may whip him with the belt, or punch his balls a few times then give him another chance. I increase the pain until he obeys. Its really fun to give him tasks that are hard to acheive. I also use pain as punsihment for failure. If he can’t make me orgasm in a certain time period, or its less pleasurable than what I expected, I may attach the spreader bar to his ankles and wrists, gag him, slather his cock and balls with ben-gay, and then go have a glass of wine while he contemplates how he can improve his performance next time. This doesn’t mean I need a reason to hurt my toy. When we’re playing, I may slap him for fun or for no reason at all. If he’s getting pegged, he should expect to get popped in the face a few times just because I fucking feel like it. Maybe I’ll kick his little blue balls afterwards while he’s still on all fours on the kitchen floor, just because I want to be a bitch. FRUSTRATION/TEASING This is really quite simple. When we’re playing, I cum when I want, he cums when he’s allowed to. I enjoy making him suffer in this way, its honestly the most fun part of all this. There are a lot of ways I enjoy teasing and frustrating him and I’ll go over some of them now. There is one hard and fast rule in this game for us. He must always ask permission to ejaculate, no exceptions. He’ll be punished severely for an unauthorized orgasm or ejaculation. Chastity. This is a must for us. While we don’t play 24/7, I enjoy making him wear a chastity device frequently when we’re apart. I work nights, so if I’m at work, chances are he’s locked into “The Vice”. This is a locking chastity cage, similar to others, only this one has an anti-pullout mechanism that makes it very difficult to remove without the key. Basically “The Vice” (available at www.lockedinlust.com ) is a plastic sheath for his dick that attaches to a ring around the base of his balls. It prevents erections and masturbation very well for the price. I don’t want my man’s dick mangled by a piercing for this game we play, and some of the other devices out there require that to be secure. The Vice keeps it secure and out of his (or anyone else’s) hands. Its so empowering to be able to restrict access to his own dick. I have the power to grant him erections and orgasms, he can’t have them without me or my approval. The length of time he wears the device really changes, but is up to me. I usually don’t keep him in it for more than a couple days, but we’ve had times that I left him in there for over 3 weeks. He really wasn’t happy about the time I had to leave town for 4 days and took the key with me, AFTER he’d been locked up for a week already. There are a log of fun chastity games you can find online. Some fun chastity games we play: Try to cum. I enjoy leaving the device on him, and tell him to try to have an orgasm with it on (no vibrator allowed!). Its fucking entertaining to see him hump his hand, finger his asshole, shake the cage around, pinch his own nipples, etc. I like to offer some cheering words of encouragement here for him. Usually I have him do this on the floor in the middle of the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. He hasn’t been able to cum yet, but maybe one day he’ll get there. (Another great video opportunity) Coin flip. If he’s been locked up for several days, I’ll strap him to the bed or handcuff him to remove the device. Then I’ll start stroking his dick until he’s very close to orgasm, right on the edge. Then I flip a coin, heads I finish him off. Tails, I immediately stop, put an ice pack on his dick and lock him back up once he’s soft again. Better luck next time honey. Roll of the dice. If he rolls a six, he gets to cum. If not, that’s the number of days he stays locked up until he gets another chance. This went on for over 3 weeks for us at one point. He was really on edge lol. Chastity can also play into the control aspect as well. Sometimes when we play I don’t take the cage off. For example, he doesn’t need an erection to get fucked in his ass or to use my dildo and vibrator on my pussy, so why take it off? If he starts giving me a bad attitude, I’ll simply add another day or two to his lockup time. I use this as punishment for disobedience when playing, so it gives me more control. One of the big things you’ll notice if you start incorporating chastity into your sex life, is that he will become more and more agreeable and obedient as time goes on, if you restrict his orgasms. If we’re playing with chastity more seriously, I like to make him wait 1 to 2 weeks between orgasms. He has a high sex drive, so when I do this, he gets so horny he’ll do anything to get out of his chastity cage. Its really entertaining to see what I can get him to do. Once, after 13 days locked into the Vice, I insisted he detail my car if he wanted out of the device. He whined and complained, so I told him that he just earned himself another 3 days in the device, and I still expected the car detailed. The MOST IMPORTANT thing when incorporating chastity into your sex life is this. SAY NO. Don’t be swayed by his begging, whining, or complaining. Firstly lets get this out of the way, no one NEEDS to have an orgasm. He wants to cum, he doesn’t need to. So lets get that little idea out of the way immediately. We have a rule, when he’s locked up, he gets to politely ask for an orgasm once per day. If I feel like it, I’ll have him earnestly beg me. This is great for extracting promises from him. But if I say no, he needs to shut the fuck up about it immediately. Occasionally I’ll say yes, but most of the time I’ll say no as I’ve already decided on how long he’s going to be locked up. Do not feel bad about this. In fact, relish your power here. I get off on having him go down on me right after I tell him “No, you’re staying locked up.” While we both agreed to incorporate chastity devices into our sex life, the lockup duration is my decision alone. Use the device to modify his behavior to your liking. If you want something from him, sexual or not, give him the order. If he doesn’t comply, add time in the device. The power is intoxicating. Teasing. Sometimes he wears The Vice around the house, sometimes not. But regardless I like to wear skimpy clothing, rub up against him, feel and squeeze his balls, ass cheeks, and body just to see him get a boner (or try to, hehe). I’ll take this a lot further sometimes, stroking his dick until he starts leaking precum, getting him close to orgasm, only to stop and tell him to calm down. Sometimes I even let him fuck me until I have an orgasm or two, then tell him to stop. This is delightfully frustrating for him. Other times I’ll leave him in the chastity cage and masturbate right in front of him. One of my favorite teases is to use his mouth to make me cum and send him away completely denied. Sometimes I tell him I’m going to make him cum, only to stop at the last second and tell him I changed my mind. Ruined Orgasm. By far the funniest aspect to this whole femdom thing. Its really an artform. The basic idea is that you get your man very, very close to the point of orgasm and then stop all stimulation. If you do it right, he’ll just tip over the edge, and his semen will dribble out of his dick with barely any force, and next to no pleasure. This works best with his hands restrained so he can’t try to finish the job himself. I like to pair this sometimes with the shock collar to make it completely miserable. SERVICE So now we get to the fun part. A lot of the above is playing into my man’s fetish, and that’s ok. I do love him, and I don’t have a problem doing stuff for his enjoyment. But you can be sure I’m going to be getting something out of all this! A big part of femdom is serving the woman in the relationship. And I’ll detail how that all works for us now. Sexual Service. This encompasses everything. If I want my ass eaten out for 2 hours while I watch TV, he does it. If I want a full body massage from a muscled, naked man, that’s what I get. If I want to fuck and get off two or three times, I get that. If I want my nipples sucked while I use my vibrator on myself, that’s what I get. Nothing is off limits to me sexually. I speak, he obeys. That’s just how it goes. I typically don’t orgasm from oral sex alone or penetrative sex alone, and sometimes it can take quite a while for me to get there. The point is, I get what I want. Not that I want him eating my ass for 2 hours necessarily, but I’ll make him do something like that sometimes just because I can. (Then sometimes make fun of him for it.) Facesitting. I love sitting on his face. Its a great experience to cum all over his face. Sometimes I use just his tongue, while other times I’ll shove a dildo in his mouth and ride it while using my vibrator. I also have a gag that has a dildo sticking out of it. Whatever I’m using, its important that I’m only concerned with my own pleasure during this experience. Don’t worry about whether or not he’s able to breathe, if his tongue is tired, if his neck hurts, etc. In fact, its quite enjoyable to put him in intentionally uncomfortable positions for this. We have a hard wooden chair that I like to use for this. He’ll be required to sit on the floor and lean his head back onto the seat of the chair. This hurts his neck and head when I really start riding and bouncing on it, but who gives a fuck? He needs to focus on my orgasm, not his temporary discomfort. As part of the sexual service aspect of femdom in our sex life, we’ve decided that he no longer decides when and where he gets to orgasm, when and where I get to orgasm, and he doesn’t decide on when or where any other sexual activity takes place. That’s up to me now. This doesn’t mean that he doesn’t initiate sex any longer, far from it. But it does mean he doesn’t get to complain, and he doesn’t get to turn me down when I want it either. The goal of sexual service is two-fold. One, for you to get all the pleasure you want. Two, for him to feel completely objectified. When you are using him sexually, think of him as just another sex toy, a dildo that you can use up and throw away when you are finished. But this isn’t limited to sexual service only. Domestic Service. Basics. When we’re in femdom mode, he does the chores. All of them. We get to spice up mundane things like cleaning the bathroom and vacuuming in easy ways. For example, if the dishes need washed, and the kitchen mopped, I tell my bitch to get his maid outfit and shock collar on and bring me the large butt plug. While he gets dressed I may watch TV, text friends, do some shopping online, or anything else I want. When he’s ready, he lubes up the plug and I put it up his tight little ass. He then goes off to do whatever I’ve told him to do while I relax. After he’s done I may or may not inspect his work, if he did a good job then he may get a reward. His reward may be the privilege of kissing my asshole for example. If its not up to par he may get punished. This can be implemented immediately, or added to a play session later. If you are going to go this route though, I would suggest using punishments he really wants to avoid (extended chastity time, severe spankings, etc.) or else you may find him purposefully messing up in order to get some “punishment” he wants. This applies to any chore we need completed. My laundry, dishes, car washes, lawn mowing (its funny seeing him on a riding mower when I know there’s a plug up his ass), cooking, etc. Personal Service. These are generally intimate things that I want done for me. They can really play up the tease element as well. Some examples: Shave me. In the shower or bath, I like to have him shave my legs and pussy. Toenails/pedicure. I pick the color, then he massages, moisturizes my feet. Then polishes my nails for me. He’s also responsible for removing any old polish from my nails. Massage. Sometimes just a shoulder rub, other times I’ll be nude and he is required to give me a full body massage with oil. I like for him to be nude for this as well. It’s really torture for him to give me a few orgasms afterwards and stay denied. Body worship. It can be really relaxing to have him kiss and nuzzle my thighs, feet nipples, and pussy. I especially enjoy having my asshole worshiped though. Just light kisses, licks and nuzzles. Basically he’s making out with my asshole. It’s a serious power trip to have him do this while I watch TV or play games on my phone, ignoring him except to give instructions if I want something done differently. PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER I’ve outlined several ideas and topics here, and now I’ll give an example on how I’ve put all of it together. Remember when reading this, its all in fun, and it doesn’t necessarily have to make a lot of sense. Remember, if your guy is into femdom, he likes a lot of this kind of stuff already. I like to choose something from each category when we play, just to round out the session. Not always, but frequently. For one session I decided we were going to do some pegging, so before I got home I told him to get himself cleaned up, naked, and get a plug in. I got home about an hour later, so he’d been stretched out for a little while. I got home, grabbed him by the hair and dragged him into the garage. I told him to get on all fours in the middle of the floor and wait. He waited there for 20 minutes. I know he was scared, he’d never been fucked on the garage floor before. It wasn’t clean, and he was completely naked except for the plug in his ass. I came in turned all the lights on and started taking pictures. I was already wearing the strapon. I made him smile for the camera, and pose for me. It looked like a really trashy photoshoot. I took several pictures in varioius positions and then I told him it was time to get busy. I lubed up my cock, slowly pulled out the plug and got to work. I fucked him on the floor of the garage for about 5 minutes, eventually really pounding him. I pulled him up by his hair, bent him over the hood of my car and pounded some more. I insisted he fake an orgasm like a girl. It was reallly funny listening him attempt to moan and scream like a woman orgasming. Once he was done, I pulled him around by the hair and spit directly into his face. I told him that was the worst fuck I’d ever had and told him to “go clean my fucking bathroom”. He stared at me dumbfounded, so I slapped him hard in his face and repeated it louder. He quickly scurried off to the master bath. About 5 minutes later I came in and threw the strapon and butt plug on the floor and told him to clean up my toys as well. When he came and reported that he was done, I went to inspect his work. It was spotless. So I told him to get himself cleaned up and ready for bed. As a reward I let him go down on me for a while and then use my vibrator to give me an orgasm. He didn’t get to cum that night. (but we did cuddle and watch a movie) There are many more ways you can mix and match categories, and many of them run together. For example, you can facefuck your man with your strapon, while you rub his dick. Once you’re satisfied he’s learned how to deepthroat, pull him off and make him beg for the privilege of masturbating in your presence. You can record this on video if you like, then, make him eat his own cum on video. The possibilities are endless! Again, I know a lot of this isn’t “authentic” if you’re doing it for your submissive partner, but that doesn’t really matter to me. What matters is that we’re having fun, and I get what I need out of it too. Dm if you need my training sessions.
Found among my grandfather's papers, a true account of the paranormal. Colonel J. Parker, of Toronto, was returning home from a conference in London when the queer events following occurred. He was a firm, well-off gentleman who had dedicated his life to the Army of Canada, and who had retired only grudgingly. A trained officer, he bore himself as an unemotional oak. His face, leathery and with a full white mustache, was forever stoic and regal, and his oddly crystal eyes did well in not betraying the thoughts and feelings within. He boarded the R.M.S. Rockford as a first class passenger in Liverpool, and spent the majority of the voyage in his cabin and the smoking room reading. He refrained from socialization, and was inclined to utter only a surely "Hello," to a familiar face or to tip a polite nod to a lady as he strode aft to stern every day after meals. I saw him only once before he summoned me to his stateroom, hurrying to the stern, his frame arrow-straight. I had heard of him and thought him to be a rather bland machine, a man perfectly happy to pass life in unthinking and regulated chains. But his courage was unquestionable, and I deeply respected his loyalty to his country and his charity to the impoverished. It all began on the morning of the twenty-first, when I was fetched from my room before dawn by the junior Marconi operator. His skinny young face was wide and shiny with panic in the dim light of the hall when I opened my door. He hysterically babbled out that his senior, a thirty-year-old Irishman named Patrick, had had what he termed a "meltdown" and sat unresponsive before the wireless. Taking my bag and throwing an overcoat atop my pajamas, I followed the youth to the wireless hit, situated in a niche behind the wheelhouse off the boat deck. In the dim light cast by a table side lamp, Mr. Patrick sat in full uniform sans coat and hat, his eyes blank and his jaw slack, the earphones still over his head. "He's been like this a half an hour, sir," the youth stammered, "I woke up to try and relieve him and found him like this." I put my hand to Patrick's forehead, and found it dry and clammy. I removed the headset and set it aside. He made no sign that he was alive. "When's the last time he's slept?" I asked over my shoulder. The youth promptly replied, "Not since we left port at the least. Before that I can't say; this is my first voyage with him." Since the Titanic disaster several days previous all IMM liners had posted two men to their radio sets so that twenty-four hour service could be available. "What's he been doing?" I asked. "Can't say, sir; he's been treating the Marconi like it's a steak and he a dog. Won't let me near it." "Here, help me get him to his berth." The young man came forward and assisted me in getting Mr. Patrick out of his chair. He was heavy and limp, but with I on one side and the youth on the other we got him to bed with minimal straining and grunting. "Okay," I panted, "you go and man the wireless and I'll take care of him." The youth nodded awkwardly and rushed off. I unlaced Mr. Patrick's boots and drew the quilt up to his ashen chin. His eyes were open and staring into the nether, slightly uneasing me. He was certainly alive, but his eyes were those of a corpse, and I have always shuddered when gazing into the vacant pools of the dead. I opened my bag and rooted around until I found a cloth of suitable size. I weted it in the wash basin and covered Mr. Patrick's misty peepers. "Sir, I must get this to the captain," said the youth from behind me, starting me nearly out of my skin. I turned. He stood in the threshold between the cabin and the wireless room. "What is it?" I asked. "It's from the Mackay-Bennett, sir. She says we're in danger of plowing through a field of Titanic bodies." The sea off Newfoundland was dotted with dead from the tragedy, kept afloat by their lifebelts. Most of them were in large clusters while others were solitary. Several ships had been contracted to go out and recover the dead, the largest and most equipped being the cable ship Mackay-Bennett, which had left Canada with holds overflowing with canvas, ice and pine boxes. "Very well," I said. The young man rushed off. I then took Mr. Patrick's pulse and found it to be a bit elevated bit nothing too serious. I hoped that a good night's sleep would rejuvenate him. If not, then he would have to remain in his current state until we reached land. Seeing as there was nothing more for me to do, I flipped off the light and left the sleeping quarters. In the Marconi room, the sounds of muffled and staticy dots and dashes drifted to my ears from the headphones which sat carefully placed upon a piece of lined paper. I knew a bit of Continental Morse, and decided to await the young man's arrival whilst eavesdropping. I eased into the chair, picked the phones up, and held it up to my ear. The C.S. Mackay-Bennett was chatting with a small freighter about their progress. They had fifty bodies in the hold on dry ice, and had buried nearly twenty more at sea. At dawn they were going to begin plucking more from the sea, presumably the ones that the Rockford was in danger of sailing through. Soon the young wireless man returned and I told him I'd be back to check on Mr. Patrick later and to call me if anything should happen. He thanked me profusely, and I had to firmly refuse a tip. On the blustery deck I found that the sun had risen crimson in the west, outlining the many mountains of deadly ice navigating the sea. My tired eyes throbbed in the dull light, and I made the decision to catch a few more hours of sleep before beginning the day in earnest. *** At around noon I was awakened by a light rapt at my door. I sat bolt upright, ripped from the arms of slumber, dreadfully certain that it was a massager at the door come to inform me of Mr. Patrick's death. I reluctantly answered the door to a placid-face, middle-aged steward. "Sir, Colonel Parker has collapsed on the deck." "God," I responded lowly. Now another. "He's awake in his stateroom awaiting you, sir, number 2-B." I nodded, and the steward rushed off to other errands. I dressed in a dark suit and arrived at Colonel Parker's room ten minutes. The man himself greeted my knock, as tall and imposing a figure as ever. He looked slightly pale, but otherwise fine. "Please, Doctor, come in," he said and welcomed me into his room. Like every other first class suite it was tastefully adorned with polished cherry paneling and the finest handcrafted furniture. Against the far wall, under the window, there sat a writing desk with a sheaf of papers on it, a chair askew nearby; to my left was the large four-poster bed with its canvas overhang and the nightstand at its right head; and to my right I saw the door leading into the walk-in closet. "So, Colonel, how are you feeling?" I asked. "Frankly, I am afraid," he replied. I was caught off guard. "How come?" "Please, Doctor, sit," he motioned to an empty wicker chair. Once installed, he began his weird tale. The Colonel had awakened near dawn from a nightmare he refused to describe, and took to walking the upper deck as he couldn't return to sleep. While caught up in thoughts which he guarded from me, Colonel Parker passed sunrise pacing. When he noticed the time, he absently raised his eyes to the horizon, and at once saw what at first he took to be pack ice in the near distance. Quickly, however, he realized that he was gazing upon the many victims of Titanic. While reflecting on the horrors, he became aware of someone calling "Sir! Sir!" softly at first, then more urgently. Looking over the eerie ocean dotted with the dead, Colonel Parker heard it again, a clear, strong voice. After seeing no one on deck, he pronounced it a trick of the ears and went on. He attended breakfast in the dining saloon and then retired to the smoking room. Engrossed in a history of North America, he inadvertently forfeited lunch. Realizing his oversight, he left the room shortly before two for some fresh air on the promenade deck. After several rounds, he decided to return to the smoking room for a glass of brandy and another bout of reading. But as he neared amidships, he was molested by the same voice he had heard in the morning, calling his name. Again he was quite alone. The voice came once more, this time sounding as though it were rising from the water. The Colonel rushed over to the side, bent and saw to his total horror that a body in a white padded lifebelt had somehow become stuck to the ship. Before he could pull himself away, the body's head flopped back. Thankfully, however, he was unable to make out the face. "The body is indeed there," he said, "several others have seen it, and the captain has been informed. But…what I heard and perhaps saw…is, of course, impossible. Madness runs in my family, and I fear that it may have finally found me." "Nonsense," I said, after a long contemplative moment, "you have been up since before sunrise and had been reading most of the morning. Tired and overused minds and eyes are infamous for creating one time abnormalities." "I hope that that is the case," he said gravely. "Surely it is," I retorted with confidence. "I suggest that you spend the remainder of today resting. In the morning you will be fine." "Thank you," he said and rose, "I was beginning to doubt my own sanity." "I see this sort of thing frequently," I said, taking his proffered hand, "and after the ghastly sight of the dead in the sea, it is very understandable." "But this has never happened before," he noted. "There is a first time for everything, Colonel." *** I looked in on Mr. Patrick in the wireless hut, and was pleased to find that he was still deep sleep. I checked his pulse and found it strong and regular. His underling assured me that he was fine for at least another certain twelve hours of duty. "I can go all night, sir," he told me as I loomed over his shoulder. "Good," I replied, "if you feel that you can't, I'll have the Captain send someone else along to relieve you." "Thank you, sir," he said. "Have you been in touch with the Mackey-Bennett?" "No, sir," he said. "Please inform them that we've accidentally picked up one of their charges." The young man's brow furrowed. "Sir?" "Somehow a body's caught onto the ship, and we're dragging it to Halifax." He nodded. I left, and stepped into one of the most hectic days I had ever known at sea. Several third class passengers took ill from undercooked pork, one of them the Hungarian doctor assigned them. I was forced to abstain from lunch, and was busy setting a broken leg in second class when dinnertime dawned. A young man in first slipped on the deck and twisted his ankle, a Welsh stewardess was taken with shortness of breath, an officer was crippled with a throbbing headache, and a stoker horridly gashed one of his hands and burned the other. I checked in again on Mr. Patrick, and found him up and back at the apparatus. I chatted with him for nearly a half hour, and extracted a promise from him that he would retire at dawn, even if he didn't plan to sleep. By the time I had done, it was well past midnight and I was exhausted. I showered and had a sandwich and cup of broth in the smoking room. I had a cigar, and then retired, my eyes drooping and my find fuzzy, woolen enshrouded. *** I couldn't have been asleep for more than two and a half hours before an odd something awoke me and brought me to my feet, still in the twilight between the waking and the slumbering worlds. For a long moment, as I emerged from the deep fog that had gathered in my brain, I had no clue what had so startled me. Then, at length and with sinking dread, I realized that the ship had come to a complete stop. Throwing a robe over my pajamas, icebergs and gashed hulls dancing through my head, I rushed topside. On deck, a group of officers stood about a boat that had been uncovered and swung out for launch. The lights along the deck had all been extinguished, save for those closest to the readied boat. "What's happened?" I asked breathlessly. One of the officers, Mason, the first, turned from his supervision and regarded me. He opened his mouth, but closed it when a gravelly voice spoke from my left, startling me: "Doctor," said Captain Turner, "good morning. I am surprised to see you up and about." I turned. Captain Turner was one of those stoic, regal figures who commanded respect and historic recognition, much like Robert E. Lee or George Washington. Though slightly overweight and stooped, his beard an iron gray streaked with faded black, he was as healthy as a man can hope to be, and, I suspected, would be sailing the seas for years to come. "I was awakened by the stoppage, sir," said I, "what is the matter?" Turner let out a rusty chuckle. "Why, nothing, Doctor. We have paused to retrieve a dead body that has somehow become stuck to the ship." He smiled wearily. "We didn't want to make a ghoulish spectacle of it." "Oh, you mean Colonel Parker's body?" Captain Turner's brow furrowed. "I don't…oh, that's right. He must have seen you, the condition he was in." "Yes." And then: "As for stopping like that, you nearly gave me a heart attack." He laughed. "I'm sorry to have scared you." He then turned to Mason. The other officers stood with their backs to the boat. A few sailors had appeared from below, and stood awaiting orders. "Is all ready?" Mason nodded. "Aye, sir." "Well, lower away, and be quick about it." The sailors, five of them, climbed into the boat ahead of two officers, Mason and Bellows, the second. Turner ordered three of the officers back to their normal duties, and the rest of the assembled men fell to working the davits. A cold wind knifed across the deck, and I pulled my robe closed at the throat. Captain Turner seemed not affected in the least, and hobbled over and stood beside me. "Once the men have recovered it, I would like you to accompany it to cold storage below decks." "Yes, sir," I said. "I still can't fathom how the body came to be attached to the hull," he mused, watching as the boat jerked out of sight. For a moment all that remained was Mason's head, suspended in nothingness. And then he too was gone. "Seamen are a superstitious lot. And I am no different, sadly. I can't help, then, to see this as nothing less than an ill omen." I opened my mouth, but then closed it again. I cannot say that I was totally free of my weird beliefs at the time. I was mainly a practical man in thought and action, but, being somewhat intelligent, I knew that some things in our world defied rationality. "It could be," I gave, "though I highly doubt it. I would venture that he was carried by the swells to our hull and snagged on a large barnacle below the waterline." Captain Turner shrugged. "Perhaps. Yet that seems a rather…" "Sir," one of the sailors had turned, "Mr. Mason." I and Captain Turner came to the rail and bent over. Below, rising and falling in the surf, the boat was barely visible. "Yes, Mr. Mason?" Turner shouted. "He's alive, sir! The body! He's alive!" I and Captain Turner looked at each other, my heart beginning to race. "Impossible!" I muttered. I turned back to the boat. "Are you sure?" I asked. "Yes!" Mason responded, "he opened his eyes and tried to speak when we brought him aboard!" "That can't be," I told Captain Turner, "hypothermia claims one in no more than…an hour." Turner nodded stiffly. "Bring him up quickly, then!" he called. The sailors on deck, with the other officers who had been recalled from their rounds, strained mightily to bring the boat back up. I stood agitatedly aside, anxious to see for myself what Mason had claimed. Once the craft was nearly level with the deck, I almost hysterically demanded that the young Titanic "survivor" be brought aboard. Conceding, Mason, Bellows, and a teenaged sailor handed the supine form to several men on deck, who then laid him out. We all gathered around him in wonder, I the closest to his face. He was a striking young man in his twenties perhaps, with liquid black eyes and a strong Roman chin. He was a ghastly white, and his lips were as blue as a summer sky. Ice raked through his black hair and hung in droplets from his eyebrows. When his pupils shifted and met mine, I stumbled back, horror pounding within my skull. "This man should be dead!" I cried. The others were as pale as the young miracle spread before them. Captain Turner looked at me. "But he isn't, Doctor." And he wasn't. In fact, he lingered in the gloomy infirmary until dawn, when he quietly slipped out of this world and into the next. I was at his side almost the entire time, save for when I used the bathroom at 4:13 am, and was holding his hand when he went. He opened his eyes at one point during the night, and tried with great effort to speak, but it was in vain. Captain Turner came down several times, and watched over the boy with quiet wonder. He asked me several times if there was any precedent, but I replied that I had never heard of one. A man falls into an icy sea, the man dies within the hour, usually the half hour. There was, I told him, the tale of a young Maine couple who became frozen on the deck of a disabled schooner during a storm in the 1850s. They were recovered after a day and a half, entirely entombed in ice. But that was far different. The man here had been in freezing water since, perhaps, the fifteenth of April, over a week. No human can withstand such brutal temperatures for as long as it appears he did. Captain Turner came back only moments after the boy died, and we talked by the flickering glow of an oil lamp. He told me that he had sent a wire that we had recovered a Titanic survivor from the sea, and Mr. Patrick was incensed when the wireless operator at Cape Race insulted him and called him a drunken liar. "We'll be met at our berth by the media," Captain Turner said with cool resignation. "Yes," I said, standing, "I suppose. Now, if I may, I think I'll return to the land of nod for a bit." "Of course," Captain Turner said, "I'll have some of the stewards take the body to cold storage." I wasn't asleep very long when my door crashed open with a terrible sound. Jumping to my feet for the second time in less than twelve hours, my heart crashing, I came face-to-face with Colonel Parker, his eyes wide and black and his chest heaving. "My son! That man is my son!" With that, he collapsed and lived no more. "One of the crewmen found his wallet," Captain Turner explained to me as Colonel Parker's body was taken away, "and the old man was right. It was his son." I was baffled. "This doesn't make any sense." "Things seldom do at sea," Captain Turner said, "things at sea seldom do."
Not mine, but this is another one of my all-time favorite stories. Hi, my name is Alana. I'm 27, with long, brown hair, 5'7", and a perfect body, thanks to the two hours I spend daily at the exclusive gym down the street from my luxury condo. I've been told by about a million different males, as well as several girlfriends that I have a face to die for. Can you blame me for being confident? It's easy to stay beautiful when you're in my line of "work." If I was asked to list my job title, I think I'd call myself a Professional Man-ipulator. It's an extremely cushy, well-paying "job" that requires minimal effort and gives me plenty of free time to travel, go shopping, but most importantly tend to my personal grooming. Between the gym and all the skin products I'm able to afford, it's easy staying beautiful. How did I fall into this profession? It wasn't until my early 20s that I discovered the joys of Female Domination. For a long time, I worked as a waitress. It was a nice restaurant and I wasn’t making a bad living, but I felt unfulfilled. Now those feelings of emptiness at the end of a long day are gone. I’ve found my true calling: the humiliation of the male gender. Not all males, mind you. I'm talking about perverted, penis-driven retards also known as "Compulsive Jackoffs," or, my personal favorite, "Walking ATMs." There is a lot of machine ATMs world today. But for me, there are literally billions. That's because I can make most men do whatever I want whenever I want. Put it this way -- I get dozens of emails from male wimps every day, most of whom I ignore since I don't have time. This leaves me free to focus on the jerkoffs with the fattest wallets (at least until I am done pressing a few of their "buttons" and transferring their $ to my fat bank account -- it's the only thing fat about me). Here's the way it works: These males work their shitty 9 to 5 jobs. Then they willingly give their money to me. Or, I take it from them. Whichever you prefer. So you're probably wondering why I have titled this story "A Proper Bulbing." Well, it has to do with scrotums. And when it comes to scrotums, I guess you could say I have a hate/love relationship. Why do I hate scrotums so much? Scrotums are responsible for many of the world's ills. I'm totally convinced the world would be a much, MUCH better place if men's scrotums were put totally under the control of Women. Any men who still displayed violent tendencies would have their scrotums disciplined with blunt force, or a simple electrical shock, for those ladies who'd rather not touch. Imagine how many fewer wars and how much less violence there would be. But this isn't the only reason I hate scrotums. Imagine having that silly, wrinkled flap of junk hanging off your body! I detest looking at regular scrotums. However, that last sentence deserves an asterisk. That's because I very much enjoy looking at scrotums that have been "treated" properly. What do I mean by that? U shall see. Why do I love scrotums so much? Because scrotums are part of what makes it so incredibly, amazingly, magically EAZY to control males! That and their stupid penises, of course! It’s a great comfort knowing that all men have these monstrosities sitting between their legs, causing them to do the stupidest, most retarded things imaginable. And knowing that I can control males through their scrotums (and penises) by doing absolutely NOTHING, other than being myself, is the greatest thing about life. It's like God (who is obviously female) decided to give Women the ultimate gift -- a way of dominating the weaker gender by her mere presence. I think about this all the time -- when I'm working out and men are gawking at my spandex-clad body, when I'm walking down the street in my expensive new shoes and a skirt, and of course when I'm totally humiliating the living shit out of males on the internet and raping their bank accounts. But the "love" is not only about that. Remember I said that I love looking at scrotums when they've been "treated" a certain way? Well, that gets to one of my favorite activity involving men: ballbusting. For me and my girlfriends, kicking scrotum is the most liberating activity in the world. Every girl needs to try it. For you men out there reading this and feeling yourself weaken -- I have a standard rate for males on my website: $500 and I will come and kick your scrotum with my expensive shoes until you beg for mercy, and your scrotum is inflated to the size of a baseball. In other words, by paying the $500, men agree to submit their scrotums for a brutal kicking that will result in terrible, excessive swelling, or, as I like to call it, "bulbing." I try not to pop their balls, because I'm not psycho or anything (but no promises), which means my goal is to inflict as much damage as humanly possible without rupture. I should also add that by paying the $500, the male agrees to submit to a clothed-female nude-male photograph session. The photos always take place at the end of the scrotum punishment. I insist upon full-body, fully nude male photos, because I love the look of his face when I've finished um, annihilating (yes, that’s not too strong a word) his genitals. And of course I insist upon a close-up of the scrotum itself. It's so much more pleasing to the eye when it's a deep, enduring red/purple color and swollen to the point where the guy probably won't be able to walk for several days. I love it! Once I have the photographs, it means I basically own the guy. I don't show a photo of his face on my website (unless he pisses me off, or unless he gives his consent), but all the close-ups are on my website. All 476 (and counting) of them. 476 bulbs. Tee hee! $500 sounds like a lot of money for a male to pay for what is essentially his own destruction, but you wouldn’t believe how popular my service is. Since I started my scrotum enlargement program two years ago, I have "processed" 476 scrotums. That's $238,000 for the mathematically challenged amongst you. And that's only part of the revenue I've been generating. Pretty soon I'll have bulbed 500 scrotums! I think I'm going to invite my girlfriends over for #500. Imagine that. Males willingly pay me to mangle their groins. Isn't life wonderful? Talk about absolute power. This gets me to the story that I want to share with you. It's about a male that I own. I'm particularly proud of this one. Let me explain. As I mentioned, prior to becoming a Man-ipulator, I was a waitress at a good restaurant in a posh part of down. I made a decent living, but the hours were shitty and I had to put up with Keith. Ah, Keith [snicker]. Keith was, and still is, the floor supervisor at my restaurant. In other words, back when I waited tables, he was my boss. Now, as you will soon see, I'm his boss. Keith is a tall, balding male in his early 30s who used to act as if he was the shit. All the waitresses couldn't stand him. There were several reasons for this: One, he was a total stickler for punctuality. If you were a minute late, you'd be docked two hours pay. Two, any time there was any issue with a customer -- no matter how big a douche bag the customer was -- he would side with the customer and give the wait staff an earful. Three, he made insulting comments to all the waitresses and he often would grope us in ways that made us uncomfortable. Me and my friend, Trina Lin, who also quit and is also now a Man-iupulator, used to get furious about it. We even considered telling the chef and owner, but we realized that d-bag wouldn't do anything about it. So why bother? Around two and a half years ago, I stumbled upon some Female Domination sites on the Internet. I'm a voracious reader and what I discovered really fascinated me. I knew some Women out there controlled their men but I never realized the extent of the fetish. I shared my findings with Trina and we began experimenting on the side. In absolutely no time, we both had several male clients and we were raking in the dough. Six months after that, we both surprised the fuck out of Keith by quitting on a busy Saturday. We both showed up to work and put on our waitress outfits. Then, just as the first diners were getting seated, we walked up to Keith, handed him our aprons, flipped him the bird and walked out of there. It was awesome! The look on his face was priceless. As we walked out, he shouted, "You'll never work in this town again." We just turned to each other and laughed. After that, I quickly forgot about Keith as my new career took off. The next couple of years went by. My income skyrocketed and I "work" like, maybe ten hours per week. But can you even really call it work if you're doing what you love to do? I guess it is work in the sense that I have to sort through a million stupid emails from retarded men and make sure I don't cross paths with a dangerous dude. For that reason, I have a bodyguard. I don't pay him anything, since I own his ass. But he's a big, physically powerful guy who worships the ground I walk on and lives right around the corner. Any time I'm doing a session with a new client, he sits in my guest room, ready to pounce if a Walking ATM gives me any trouble. It's nice to know he's there, and he's thrilled to serve me in any way he can. A few months ago, as I was sorting through all the loser mail I get, one of them stood out. It was the name of my ex-boss and there was an attachment. My heart skipped a beat. Keith?! What did this idiot want? Well, I opened the email and began laughing. Then I spoke with Trina on the telephone and we laughed together for another hour straight. I saved his email. Here it is: Dear Miss Alana, It's Keith, your ex-boss. I have been debating whether or not I should send this email but you are so irresistible that I can't help but do it. Let me explain. I know I wasn't very nice to you when you worked at (name of restaurant). And I want to apologize to you deeply and sincerely for that. As it so happens, I'm deeply submissive and a few months ago I stumbled upon your website. I couldn't believe it. The amazingly beautiful Alana, a lifestyle Dominatrix! I was shocked, amazed, and more than a little turned on. Yes, you guessed it. I'm a totally submissive, pussy-whipped, masturbator. I can't believe I'm going to send this. Alana, ma’am, I need to be punished for the way I treated you. Nothing would be more fitting, I think, than for me to enroll in your Jacktard 101 class, where I'll surely be taught a lesson that I'll never forget. I think this would be fitting revenge for you, for all the times I treated you poorly. Miss Alana, I'm so sorry again. The truth is that all those times I was bothering you, I secretly fantasized about you humiliating me. I can't tell you how many times I jacked off while imagining myself debasing myself at your feet, and doing stupid things for your entertainment. The day you and Trina quit, while a nightmare at work, was secretly one of my favorite days. I masturbated myself for weeks on end when I thought of the way you flipped me the bird. I couldn't get the image out of my head. Imagine my total delight and amazement when I discovered your website. This is the stuff dreams are made of. To show you my sincerity, I have attached a photograph of me. Please tuck it away and use it against me. As I said, I intend to enroll in your Jacktard 101 program with your permission. Humbly yours,Keith I opened the photo attachment he sent me. Keith was naked, spread-legged, facing the camera. He held his little (of course) penis in his fingers and had this retarded look on his face. HA HA HA! The best part was his organs themselves. For such a large male, Keith had a pathetic pin-dick, but his scrotum was huge! They made his pin-dick look even smaller than it actually was -- no small feat. I especially love racking big scrotums. It’s like a fun challenge to see how big I can make them. Sometimes I can inflate them to the size of a softball. I think I stared at the naked photograph for a good five minutes, the smile on my face growing wider and wider. I must have laughed for an hour straight. This was to be my greatest conquest yet. You're probably wondering what the Jacktard 101 program is, so let me explain. The Jacktard 101 program was a rather ingenious lesson plan I came up with for all those compulsive jacktards out there to jerk off properly and worship me in a way that I like to be worshipped. Here's how it works: By enrolling in my Jacktard 101 program, the penis pumping puppet agrees to pump his penis (say that ten times fast!) at least once every single day (I know, piece o cake, right?) for 101 consecutive days. For you monkey-spankers out there, it probably sounds like a dream. But there's a catch. In order to "graduate," my students commit to gobbling up their manchowder after every single ejaculation. Can you even imagine? 101 dirty cumloads festering inside the belly of each and every loser that enrolls in the program. It took me approximately 19 minutes to film the Jacktard 101 video and I've sold over 2,000 of them. There are other built in rules in my program. I demand that all my students stare at a photo of me on my website while they jerk it. It's just a simple photo of me in classy, feminine attire staring right at the camera lens. This way, I'm conditioning their brains so they worship me and send me extra tribute. It's been a remarkably successful program for me, as well as the losers who pay to humiliate themselves. Successful for me because I'm getting rich. Successful for the losers because they get to serve a higher power and humiliate themselves, while pleasuring their stupid penises. According to my calculations, if a dude eats 101 of his own pathetic cumloads he's effectively eaten a gallon of his own jizz! Ha ha. Can you even imagine? If that isn't the complete definition of LOSER, I don't know what is. Jerk your own pathetic penis, and EAT all your slimy splooge -- a gallon of it. If that isn't enough, I make them thank me after they're finished guzzling. "Thanks for the lesson, Miss Alana," they all say. There's one final segment to my program. Once the loser completes the program, he can download a certificate from my website, which says, "I successfully completed Miss Alana's Jacktard 101 program. I'm a certified cum-eating loser." Ha! Then they email me a photo of themselves holding the certificate with load # 101 festering on their tongues. Now that's total ownership. That gets me back to Keith. Once I got finished reading his email, and laughing, I threw on my spandex and went to the gym. As I bounced up and down on the Stairmaster, I wondered how I could ensure that Keith suffered the most abject, demoralizing humiliation ever inflicted upon a male. No easy task, right? There are a lot of smart girls out there who have severely exploited males. Millions of women across the world humiliate millions of men every single day. But I know I'm good at this and I was up to the task. I couldn't stop smiling during my workout once I figured out what I was going to do to the complete jackass that made my life a living hell for three years. After getting home, showering and slipping into shorts and a t-shirt, I sat in front of the computer and constructed an email: Dear Keith the LOSER, Hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah! Why am I not surprised to discover you’re an ashamed, closeted, penis jacking pervert? I will admit you as a student in my Jacktard 101 program under the following added probationary conditions. Because of our history, I'm going to have to insist that you agree to a few additional up front rules. I believe this added structure is necessary to your development as a true worshipping disciple of mine. So, here are my added rules:
Each day, before two in the afternoon, you are to film yourself masturbating and email the film to me. But I don't have the time to watch the whole retarded penis-jacking ritual and I don't want your emails jamming my computer. Therefore you are to send me only 30 seconds of edited footage. The 30 seconds will begin with you introducing yourself as Keith The Loser, then a quick snippet of your pathetic ejaculation, then you EATING YOUR CUM, and thanking me PROFUSELY for teaching you another lesson.
Each day you are to deposit $10 to my pay pal account. If I'm dissatisfied with your video (AND I WILL WATCH EVERY VIDEO), I will increase the payment to $100 on that day.
Any failure to follow my instructions will result in me shutting you off for good. There will be no second chances. You should also know that if I sense any lack of respect, the folks at (my old restaurant) might be getting some new movies in the mail.
Your agreement to My terms will be in the form of a video, sent to Me tomorrow by 2 PM, as well as an initial deposit of $100 (first ten days) to My account. -Miss Alana The next day, like clockwork, Keith’s first video came in, I immediately forwarded it to Trina and we watched it while talking on the phone. Both of us couldn't stop laughing. Keith stood there with his legs spread, his crotch sticking out, pumping his spunk into a tissue. The whole time his tongue was hanging out and he was grunting like a freak. He looked right at the camera and gobbled the whole mess down. Then he got on his knees and put his hands up in prayer and started thanking me like a boss who spared his job. What a total triumph! We had oodles of fun watching him make a total jackass of himself for the first week or so. After that, he got boring, so I didn't watch for a while, but one day I checked a few videos to make sure he was in compliance. His "loser-tax" tributes continued to fill my bank account. Of all the losers that send me tribute, I think I've had to do less "work" for Keith than any of them. In light of our history, it's fitting, don't you think? A convenient transfer of wealth from male to Female, from retard to Goddess. It's a unique form of Darwinism. For load #101, I decided to make a house call. Because of our history, Keith was obviously a special case. This was more than just some random jackass who wanted to be humiliated; this was personal. In light of that, I wanted to have an intimate one-on-one moment with Keith where I could cement my dominance over him in memorable fashion. For that reason, I though the best place to truly embarrass him and hammer home my superiority was in his "private" sanctuary, a.k.a. his bedroom, the site of so many self-administered personal relief massages. By invading his home and shaming him in the way I had selected, it would show him that his body and his life, not to mention his dignity, no longer belonged to him. It belonged to me. After arranging to visit his condo on a Friday afternoon, I instructed him in an email to leave his front door unlocked and lie on his bed, naked. He was to have tissues and hand lotion in bed with him and he was to masturbate himself to the brink of orgasm. I instructed him to groan continuously so I'd have no trouble finding his bedroom when I arrived. As a final touch, I told him I wanted his legs spread and up in the air and the middle finger of his non-jacking hand to be wedged up his anus. Just so there would be no shenanigans, I told him that people knew of my whereabouts and if he was anything less than ultra-obedient, the tapes of him masturbating would be circulated everywhere. I dressed in simple attire, jeans, a blouse, booties and a full length jacket. I didn't intend to be there for more than 15 minutes. This wasn’t the first time I arranged to walk in on a masturbating loser. I absolutely love to do it. Another technique of mine is to arrive late, so the male is forced to get all pent up and bothered while I take my sweet time and arrive at my leisure. When I arrived, I took a moment to take my jacket off and check myself in the mirror. I could hear the shameful monkey-spank groans coming from down the hall, so without further delay I headed straight to the source of the perverted groaning sound, an anticipatory smile on my face. I pushed open the door to his bedroom and there was Keith in all his "glory," legs spread and elevated, finger stuck retardedly up his own ass, pumping his penis and groaning. The tissues and lube were next to him on the bed. "Oh I'm sorry, am I interrupting something?" I said, conjuring up my most condescending, feminine voice. Keith's face turned so red. It's always more satisfying when they get really embarrassed. And in Keith’s case, it was with good reason that he was embarrassed. But I wanted to make sure he experienced some real shame. I sat down on the bed next to him and slid my hand beneath his chin, so he had no choice but to face me. "You should see yourself," I began. "What a disgusting pervert you are! You do realize you've paid me a thousand dollars to feed on your own filthy sperm, right? And now look at you!" I released his chin and slapped him like a pimp slapping his bitch. His face became the picture of shame -- eyes cast downward, cheeks redder than ever. That's what I wanted. “Absolutely pathetic,” I added. I'm not in the business of giving males what they want. I'm in the business of giving males what they need. I knew Keith wanted me to watch him masturbate and consume his own ejaculate. He wanted a female audience to fulfill his fantasy. I had something else in mind. "Okay, I can't stay. I'm meeting a couple of friends at the mall," I lied. "Toss your legs up over your head, so your penis is pointing down at your stupid face." Once he obeyed, I reached into my handbag and took out his certificate. I flipped it casually in the air and made for the door. "I have no intentions of watching you splooge all over your face. I'm going to go buy a few pairs of designer shoes with your money. Then, tomorrow I'm going to splatter your balls with them. Happy jerking, loser! If you jerk really quickly, I might hear your groans before I leave." I could hear him grunting as I left the apartment. He obviously wanted me to hear him pleasuring himself. I’m quite sure he gave himself a faggot facial while I was riding the elevator downstairs. But what the fuck do I care? I had exploited him the way I wanted to exploit him and now it was time to go shopping. Later, when I got home, I wrote him an email: Dear Keith the LOSER, Tomorrow (Saturday) is officially "Punishment Day" for you. It's the day I intend to pay you back in full for your childish and unacceptable behavior from the days when I worked at (name of restaurant). As I'm sure you know from your deep infatuation with Me, I specialize in Ballbusting. I assume you have had a chance to review the 100s of pictures of Bulbs on my website. You can expect your scrotum to take on a similar appearance. Make sure you shave your pubes THOROUGHLY the morning before you arrive. I want it smooth. And dipshit, I have to warn you that I'll take absolutely no prisoners. I'm going to knock your stupid nutsack (and the nuts inside your stupid nutsack) into next week. Very few things in life give me more pleasure. The fact that we have a history will only enhance my feeling of determination and my ultimate joy when I do what NEEDS to be done. Of course you know you will pay me $500 for this necessary attitude adjustment, which you yourself admitted that you so desperately need. When you arrive, I'll lead you into a room, where you are to strip naked and bring your wallet with $500 in it. I'll be waiting in my kitchen. You are to enter, kneel and open your wallet so that I can ceremoniously rape it. I expect you to arrive at noon. Do not be late. -Miss Alana For all you jerkoffs (and Females) unfamiliar with my practices, let me explain in clinical terms what it means to properly "bulb" a male. When a male suffers trauma to his scrotum, the testicles inevitably swell. As they swell, eventually they force the skin from the scrotum to stretch in such a way that the skin will accommodate the damaged nuts. A properly "bulbed" scrotum takes on a highly comic appearance. For one, it's quite large in size, since testicles tend to swell quite dramatically when punished with the blunt force of Female Footwear. Two, the skin takes on an ultra smooth appearance. This is because, as the gonads undergo trauma, the skin has no choice but to stretch to accommodate them. The result is sort of like what a facelift does to wrinkled skin. Not only that, but a properly bulbed scrotum tends to become almost perfectly circular in appearance. What a wonderful symmetry, and proof that scrotums were meant to be this way. And lastly, the bulb also turns wonderful shades of pink, red, blue, and my personal favorite, purple. I have a high quality digital SLR camera, and after a successful bulbing, I make sure to take dozens of photographs. Then, I'll analyze the photographs and come up with my favorite one. The photograph is then labeled and archived with the male's name, age, and the date the bulbing took place. My photographs always include a totally flaccid penis in them. There are several reasons for this: One, I find the full image, penis included, very pleasing to the eye. Two, the docile penis offers wonderful perspective on the extent of the damage that was inflicted upon the scrotum. Three, it makes for a highly humiliating image that the bulbed male can always look as a reminder that he was put in his place by the superior gender. I want him to know that he is the victim of Female Power. And when I'm finished with them, they know it. Prior to Keith's arrival, I had Trina, Lynn and Leslie come over. They're my closest gal pals and all intricately familiar with male humiliation. I had them sit quietly in my kitchen while I answered the front door. Keith looked so embarrassed and this was even before he realized he would have an audience. Without saying a word, I stared him down. "Are you ready for more humiliation?" "Yes ma'am," he looked almost crestfallen. "Look me in the eye when I address you!" I gave him three crisp bitch-slaps. "Oh, don't you worry. I'm going to humiliate you alright," I said, before leading him to the room where he was to remove his clothing (and what little dignity he had left). I couldn't help but snicker as he disrobed. He had a little erection and his balls hung there, oblivious to me, their executioner. Fittingly, I wore all black -- a tight black skirt, a black top, black stockings and black high heels. Trina, who is Asian, looked gorgeous in a white dress with these really cool white leather square-toed boots. The other ladies looked quite lovely as well. You should have seen Keith's eyes pop out of his head when he walked butt-naked into my kitchen and found himself face-to-face with four clothed Females. He was totally mortified. Lynn has this great video camera that takes both video and high quality photographs simultaneously. She captured Keith's priceless reaction when he realized his humiliation was going to be much more public than he imagined. The girls all laughed as he stood there stunned. He mumbled something about this not being what he expected. "Get your naked ass over here and present your wallet to me," I said matter-of-factly. After I raped Keith's wallet of $500 of his hard-earned money, I made him kneel before us and admit what a compulsive masturbating jackass he truly was. "We've all seen the videos," Lynn added, as his face turned bright red just as it had the day before. We all called him a loser (I have always found that word to be particularly fitting and effective), jackass, compulsive dick-spanking retard, lots of mocking laughter, you get the idea. Once that was taken care of, it was time to get down to the bulbing. I couldn't wait. All dominant women love to bust nuts. It's just that me and my gal pals take it to another level. "Time to get underway," I said. First I had him stand up, legs spread. I told him to present his balls to me and beg me to teach him a lesson. This is a must. It shows the male knows his place and is ready to accept his punishment. It also adds a ceremonial element to the proceedings, which I think is a necessary formalization of a process. "Mess him up, Alana," said Trina. I used a chair to brace myself and carefully measured my target, pressing the tip of my pump into Keith's groin. THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! THUD! In the early stages of a bulbing, it's important to get a lot of kicks in, but the kicks can't be too hard. You want the male to remain on his feet. I used the bridge of my foot, which does a good job of causing blunt trauma without any real risk of rupture. The goal is to get good coverage and make sure both testicles begin the initial swelling process. After each ten kicks, Keith was made to thank me, as well as the other women in attendance. I kicked him maybe a hundred times this way. For the final flurry of kicks, I upped the ante, really snapping my foot with extra force. The second to last kick was enough to put him on the floor, but before he went down I nailed him with a really super kick. This one took some skill because he was falling away. I had to shuffle my feet forward and change my angle. All my work at the gym really paid off, as it made an especially loud thud and sent his genitals flying. Lynn captured the moment perfectly, getting a great shot of his penis pointing straight to the ceiling as my foot battered his nuts. When one analyzes ballbusting photographs, it’s amazing the way the nuts contort during an assault. Keith's knees slammed together and his hands came down between his legs in protective (too late) mode. I love watching when they do that. The Women all cheered. We were off to a good start. I circled him as he struggled to get his bearings and (I assume) deal with the pain in his stomach. We could see he was already red down there. "Now I want you to get on all fours and face the Women. I'm going to kick you from behind." I really love kicking scrotum from behind. I admit it gives me a thrill to see that naked ass crack just staring up at me, legs spread like a dog in heat, silly, dangling soon-to-be-bulb, waiting for additional punishment. It gives me a chance to show them how uncivilized they really are. I also love the imagery of my shoe wedged between their ass, as I rock their world. Because it echoes off the floor, each kick makes this nice snapping noise. SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP!SNAP! Keith was starting to suffer now. I could see him try to cheat his punishment by sliding his knees slowly together and lowering his ass. "Keep your fucking legs spread, ass up!" I warned him, before launching another good ten snappers. I put my hips into the last kick and his ass bounced up into the air. He fell on his side and groaned. Now we were getting somewhere. His legs were fastened together and his hands were wedged into his groin, doing their best to protect his prized possessions. It was pure male instinct. I’d seen it hundreds of times. I knelt down and reached between his legs, gently pushing away his hands, which gave way without too much of a fight. Once I had snaked my hand in there and secured his ever-expanding scrotum, I gave it a firm squeeze and ordered him onto his back. “Spread your legs nice and wide, loser, so we all have a nice view. It’s inspection time.” After he realized he had no choice but to comply, I began properly inspecting his scrotum, pulling and pinching at the skin. I love the process of “damage inspection” during a bulbing because, by the time I check, the scrotum is usually highly sensitive and a simple pinch can result in pain. Keith kept wincing and writhing on the floor. But he kept his legs apart like a good, obedient male should. It was clear I had unencumbered access to Keith’s most prized possessions. And I had his respect. I made sure to stand to one side of Keith so that the other ladies had a nice view of him lying there, genitals lewdly on display. His scrotum had turned a nice pink color and was starting to stretch, but we had a long way to go. After tugging and pinching longer than was necessary, I leaned forward and looked deep into his eyes. "We're not even close to halfway done. Get back into position," I said. Trina laughed. Once he was back in position, I stood and let him know what I thought about him covering up. "Each time you sprawl on my kitchen floor and grab your dirty organs, it makes me want to kick you even harder," I said. "You know this is what you wanted and we all know it's what you need. So stay PUT-" SNAP....SNAP....SNAP. I began putting my hips into each kick. Now every time I kicked him, Keith's ass bounced pleasingly in the air, but knowing my warning, he gritted his teeth and got back into position. SNAP!!! He was really bouncing up with each kick now. Lynn let out a groan of satisfaction. All of us lifestyle dominatrixes love taking part in a good bulbing. Everything about it is so enjoyable. It's a total display of vaginal power. And we all love watching that male ass bounce in the air. SNAP!!! This time I squealed with pleasure. Keith's sack was now a bigger target and I could feel all that mushy flesh really yield as my foot smashed into it. Keith let out his first real scream and began rolling around my kitchen floor. I kneeled down and again secured him by the balls. Once he had obeyed my unspoken command by lying on his back and spreading his legs, we all studied his exposed groin. "Looks better, Alana," said Leslie, in that detached, lispy voice of hers. "Progress is being made." Leslie was such a snob. Determined to make an example of Keith, I conjured up my strictest most no-nonsense tone: "Get back on your hands and knees. This time I want your ass way up in the air." SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP!! Three more good hard kicks. Keith slumped over. "Get up." SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP!!!!! "Uhhhhhhh!" I added. SNAP!! SNAP!! SNAP! SNAP! SNAP SNAP SNAP! I kicked with controlled fury. No sense in rushing the job. Plus, more kicks usually equate to a rounder, firmer bulb. It's important to be thorough and make sure every single cell of testicle ends up swollen. Again I kneeled down and checked. Keith's scrotum was beginning to resemble a bulb, but it was still too loose for my liking. His nuts had more room to swell. An appropriately bulbed scrotum should cause the male constant pain, because the testicles eventually push against each other as they run out of room. "What do you think, Ladies?" I asked, knowing full well the answer. "Not there yet," said Leslie. "Nicely swollen, but not yet an official bulb," added Lynn. “We want those nuts pushing up against each other in his sack so he’s in perpetual pain.” It was as though the girl could read my mind. “Yes dear, I know what it means to bulb a male,” I said. I pulled a chair between Keith’s legs so I could be comfortable. A Woman can't really kick with the bridge of her foot from this position. It’s important to have square-toed shoes with some depth. Fortunately I had my square-toed red shoes at the ready, for just this purpose. Trina handed them to me. I made him sit up and put my shoes on my feet (an honor) before returning him to the floor. I pressed my shoe up against his sack. Keith's scrotum had grown almost to the size of a baseball now, but it was clear more work was needed to increase his swelling and get the skin suitably tight. I held my shoe against his ball bag and spoke evenly. "This is the nastiest part of a bulbing. Don’t you think, ladies?” "Especially for him," quipped Trina.
2020.09.19 19:44 MarkdownShadowBotRemoved comments/submissions for /u/Buzzedwoody5
Hi Buzzedwoody5, you're not shadowbanned, but 10 of your most recent 105 comments/submissions were removed (either automatically or by human moderators).
g5rbzzb in TwoXChromosomes on 18 Sep 20 (1pts):
This is a weird American thing. In Europe everyone stares at everybody no problem, but Americans get weirdly pearl-clutchy about it. To a European this whole thread reads like an over-sensitive...
g5r9zpg in TwoXChromosomes on 18 Sep 20 (1pts):
This will be a weird mentality to take to Europe, where it’s perfectly socially acceptable to stare in most countries. I remember in Spain it was unusual at first that people would just stare at...
g3w5dde in TwoXChromosomes on 03 Sep 20 (-4pts):
Damn, thinking you turned a girl asexual must be even worse than thinking you turned her gay.
g1uqkn0 in insanepeoplefacebook on 17 Aug 20 (1pts):
Idk I’ve heard several people complain that they comb through your profile to find any reason to deny you if you’re not black. Not enough post history, not enough comments in the sub, whatever they...
g1t1q65 in TwoXChromosomes on 17 Aug 20 (1pts):
And this is why children shouldn’t be allowed to opt in to any elective procedures, be it this, a sex/gender change, or anything else. Anyone arguing otherwise is straight up insane and doesn’t...
g0wftek in worldnews on 09 Aug 20 (1pts):
Shithole countries gonna shithole.
fzp3lrx in TwoXChromosomes on 30 Jul 20 (-6pts):
Gotta send in a pic of your vag to get approved to post.
fzh8fd0 in TwoXChromosomes on 28 Jul 20 (0pts):
Getting authoritarian on people is not the answer. Women can dress however they want. Men are free to express whatever opinions they like about it. And women in turn are free to decide whether they...
fzh71us in TwoXChromosomes on 28 Jul 20 (-8pts):
Sure, but that’s irrelevant to the crux of the argument. The person said that only women should be able to have an opinion on what’s tacky for women’s dress. That’s silly, no matter why body parts...
fzh3x7r in TwoXChromosomes on 28 Jul 20 (-39pts):
Should only guys get to decide proper dick etiquette? Cool if I walk around in sweats with a boner? Seatbelt it with my tip poking out above the belt? Just shrug and let all hang out through my fly?...
So we all here know that the "Women earn $0.70 on the Dollar" is complete fabrication; it is simply women not working as much which is a form of female privelge as Men are still seen as ATMs and providers. However, let's look at the real case of wage gap. Mainly minimum wage jobs.
Stores, especially Supermarkets. Women do cash; Men do stock. Equal pay. Men face much tougher working conditions
Fast Food Restaurants. Women do cash; Men cook in a hot fryer. Equal pay. Men face much tougher working conditions
Full serve Restaurants and Bars. Women get higher tips
Now let's look at Office Jobs:
In offices, women are held to lower standards of professional dress, which signals that they are held to lower standards in general.
Affirmative Action / Quotas / Employment Equity means it is significantly easier for women to find work and get promoted
And of course, while Women have higher earning potential, they also get spent on by Men. Most egregiously by OnlyFans types who get money for showing some skin but in general. But even beyond that you have dating, wedding rings, etc. Where a "privileged" Man is seen as a provider and must work for the "opressed" Woman. Let's count effort in vs revenue received for Men and Women throughout one's life and determine the true Wage Gap
2020.09.19 12:41 homemadedrugsShoplifting Techniques Master List
Hi everyone, these tips are some of the best ways to lift from stores. I haven't seen a shoplifting masterpost on this subreddit (correct me if I'm wrong) so I thought I’d share. Also y'all have probably heard this a million times but only lift from big companies, and never lift from small / local businesses who depend on their sales. Blind Spot A blind-spot is a section of the store where you are barely visible by any cameras or employees and can thus feel free to both collect and dump stuff, without fear of being seen. Make sure your blind-spot is not under surveillance. Never do anything where someone else may see you, even a customer. You can make your own spot inside a shopping cart with large packages to conceal your movements or use display units to your advantage. Also, a friends body can be used to block viewing. You will always want to act quickly once you have entered your blind spot and never grab an item and walk straight to your area. Shop your way into it like you need something from there and then shop your way out like you did nothing wrong. Never hang around your blind-spot for too long and don’t keep using the same spot, especially if you are leaving opened packages. Most of all, be careful to never lead Loss Prevention to your blind-spot and remember that Loss Prevention will know their store better than you and will already know where all the blind spots are. Dressing Room After selecting clothes you head to the Dressing Room to try them on. While your in there you decide that instead of purchasing them, you’re going to shoplift them. This can be easily done in the privacy of this little room as long as you know what you're doing. The inside of dressing rooms will normally not be monitored by Loss Prevention. If they do they have to have a sign saying that “Dressing Rooms are monitored” for it to be legal. Also, most dressing rooms are not 100% private. A lot of times the door or curtain stops about 2 feet from the floor giving Loss Prevention an opportunity to observe some of your actions, especially with a small shoe mirror. Regardless of all of this, you’re going for it and there are several ways you could go about concealing your items. First thing you do is to remove any security tags on the clothes. Removing tags is discussed in the ‘Tools of the Trade’. The most common way to obtain your new clothes would be to place them into another stores bag that you walked in with. Second would be to wear the new cloths under what you are already wearing or fold them up and tape them to your body. You could also just exchange the old clothes you are wearing for new ones (not recommend). Remember to never leave any tags or hangers behind unless there are already hangers or clothes in the room, which you can use to hide . Otherwise, you will be alerting the staff that you took something. Some store count the clothing going in and out of the dressing room. To get around this, hide pieces of clothing under more visible ones, or conceal clothes in a tote bag at a blind spot and bring it with you to the stall. Body Stuffing This is a common technique used by women. With a dress on they will take an item and hold it between their thighs and walk out. Also you could have a inflatable ball so that you appear pregnant. Gather clothes and go into a dressing room, deflate the ball and place the cloths in its place, so that you still appear pregnant. Men could taking some small expensive items and place them in the small of your back. Wearing a tight shirt tucked in with a baggier outer shirt would help conceal any item. Clothes can be wrapped and taped around your torso and your legs while wearing bagger clothes. Remember you have to be able to walk out the door without arousing suspicion. The Drink Cup Concealment A large drink is purchased and then brought into the store. You then proceed to drop small heavy items like jewelry into the drink cup. On leaving the store the drink cup is unlikely to be searched. You must be wary of drinking too much or the items will be revealed in the bottom of the cup. Sleight of hand This is a technique used to manipulate items by secretly palming them and hiding the items out of sight while diverting the sales associates attention somewhere else. This is easily done with jewelry and an inattentive sales person. While looking at multiple jewelry you have the sales person distracted while an expensive item is slipped into a pocket. Though it is easy to distract the human eye, the camera is a little harder to fool, so you must keep this in mind when using this tactic. The Drop Bag This Simple technique is use when a person brings a bag from another store in with them. As they shop around the store they will pick up two of the same items and inconspicuously drop one of the items into the open bag while looking the other item over. They then put the one item back as if they didn’t want it and make another selection. The Self Bagger With this technique you enter the store with the stores bags already on you. The bags should be as new as they can be and you should have already acquired them in advance. Never walk into a store and pick up a bag out of the recycle bin or an empty cashiers stand. Begin by making your selections and then proceed to a predetermined blind spot in the store. You will then bag up the merchandise and place it the cart. With the merchandise bagged proceed to leave the store. This works really well if there are multiple cashers stands through out the store. Receipt Matching This technique requires that you already have a receipt for the merchandise that you are going to return. You could search either retailer’s parking lot or trashcans looking for receipts that have a high dollar item on it paid for in cash. The problems with this is that stores try to prevent this type of return by installing outdoor cameras to watch the parking lots. Some will also have a greater who will give you a sticker when you enter with a return. This prevents people from acquiring items from within the store to return. Newer stores now have their return desk entrance separate from the store entrance to prevent you from doing this. If these are not issues then enter the store and compare the items on the receipt to the merchandise in the store. Once the you find a match take the merchandise to the return area and receive money for it. Magic Bags A person will bring a foil lined bag that they made out of approximately 10 layers of heavy aluminum-foil, into a store. This is to help shield the security tags that are on merchandise from the alarm towers at the exit of a store. Choose small expensive items and place them into your Magic bag. The tags must be completely shielded for this to work. Seal the bag so that it cannot be penetrated by radio frequency. If there is a “leak” (i.e. If the signal from the tower reach the tag through a opening in the bag) the towers will be activated. You can test it by inserting a cell-phone in to the bag and calling the number. If the phone rings that means the layers are too thin, or there is a hole that is allowing the radio waves in. This bag will only work with the RF (radio frequency) tags. In order for it to work with AM (acousto-magnetic) tags you will need to increase the amount of foil to 30 layers of heavy aluminum-foil. A side note - you may use copper or tin plates instead of the foil to make a magic bag. The only issue with this would be weight. Read ‘Anti-Shoplifting Devices’ to better understand the difference between the RF and AM security tags. Magic Box Like the Magic Bag a shoebox is lined with the appropriate layers of aluminum-foil and inserted into a bag of a local store. The box is placed so the opening is facing up, thus when you are in a concealed area you can discreetly drop items into your box. When you are ready to leave, just close the box with the lid (which was never removed from the bag) and walk out. Magic Pocket You can line a hidden pocket inside of a jacket with aluminum-foil to create a Magic Bag. You would typically cut the bottom out of an inside pocket and then insert a envelope that has been wrapped in foil. You would then place small items into it and seal the flap so that the radio waves won’t penetrate the envelope. Bag Switching Bag switching is attempted by two people who come into the store separately The first person will gather a large amount of merchandise that they want to remove from the store and place it into a large bag. They will then inconspicuously switch their bag with the second person, who has a matching bag that is already filled with items that came from another store. If Loss Prevention is watching the first person and miss the bag switch they will more then likely stop them while the second person walks out with the goods. Box Stuffing This Technique requires the use of a low priced box. You open the box and remove the contents of the box. You then proceed to refill the box with more expensive items. You then reseal the box and take it to a checkout aisle, where you pay the purchase price for the item. You then leave the store with the more expensive items concealed. If the items in the box have security tags on them they will still be active and will set off the alarm towers as you exit. Most of the time the staff will flag you through thinking a mistake was made at the register and the box was not deactivated. You can also leave the low priced item in the box if you have room for your concealed merchandise, make your purchase, then just bring the box with the item back in for a full refund. Shoe Switching This is a typical switch a roué technique where you leave a store with new shoes while leaving your old pair in the store. Some shoe stores will still have both shoes in the box with no security tags on them. These shoes will be the are the easiest to remove. Just swap out when no one is looking. If one of the shoes has a security tag in it then you will need to either use a tag detacher to remove it or if the tag is in a shoe lace hole you can cut the leather a little and pull the tag through the ripped hole. In a store where the employee has to retrieve shoes for you, find the shoes you wish to liberate. Once the salesperson retrieves the right pair, have them go back to the stock room to get another style so you can compare the two. Once the employee is sent back to the stockroom, you simply walk out with the new pair of shoes leaving the old pair in the box. It is always good to have at least two boxes of shoes left on the floor with the old pair in a bottom covered box and an other new pair exposed on top of it. This should allow you time to move away from the store as the employee seeing that you left the new shoes and boxes, will assume that you changed your mind and left. High / Low Shopping Cart With this technique two people will fill up a couple of shopping carts. One will have a few expensive items in it while the other cart will be full of miscellaneous items. You then proceed to the cashier and unload the expensive items first. The cashier scans the items and removes the security tags. As one person loads up the first cart with the high value goods the second person continues to unload the second cart. The second shopper distracts the cashier while the first leaves with the expensive items in the cart. When it comes time to pay the second shopper pays with an invalid credit card or gift card. After a few embarrassing moments the second shopper tells the cashier that they will have to go and get the first shopper who has the cash and leaves the rest of the items behind. They both then leave with the expensive items. Shopping Cart Passing Shopping cart passing is attempted by a two-person group. The first person will gather the desired merchandise into a shopping cart and take it to the register. The cashier will then ring up all the merchandise and place it in bags. Once the total is rung up, the shopper pays with an invalid credit card or gift card. Acting embarrassed for not being able to pay to first shopper leaves the store. Most cashiers will put the shopping cart off to the side and resume ringing up other customers. At this point, the second person moves in and grabs the cart and walks out of the store with the stolen merchandise already in bags. Shopping Cart Hiding You find the item that you are looking for and place it under the cart. You then continue to gather a small dollar amount of merchandise and places it in the upper part of the shopping cart. You then bring the cart to the register and remove all of the merchandise with the exception of the item you wish to take on the bottom of the cart. A lot of times this will be overlooked by the cahier and not rung up. Also small expensive items can be placed under large boxes or bags that are to big to be picked up at the register. If the cashier is not paying attention you will usually be able to get the merchandise past them without much effort. After paying for the smaller dollar items you leave the store. Push Out You fill the cart with a lot of high dollar items and you then proceed to the exit. This technique works well when there are register stands throughout the store and there are multiple exits. It would also help to have a receipt in your hand from a prior visit so that it looks like you have paid for the items in the shopping cart. The Texas Twofer This in also called the Two for One technique and works well in stores that have multiple check out stands and exits. You enter the store and proceed to gather items you wish to take into a shopping cart. Then placing the cart in a predetermined out of the way area, you grab a second cart and gather the exact same items into the cart. You then take and pay for all those items and leave the store with your receipt. You can either have a second partner or do it yourself. Come back into the store with the receipt and go to your first cart. Bag up the items and proceed to another exit with your receipt as if you just purchased it. This technique could be done for a third time if the store has three exits, but I would caution that this should only be done with a partner. Bag Alarm This works best in Mall stores. You walk into a store with a bag of items from an other store. Inside the bag is a concealed active security tag that will trigger the security alarm towers at the entrance of the store. Make a big deal out of it and make sure an employee notices that it was you that trigger the gates as you entered. Comment that there must be something from another store in their bag that triggered the gates. Ask them if they want to hold onto your bag while you shop and just pick it up on the way out. Find the items you want and conceal them on your body. If you still have your bag you may want to put items underneath the items you brought in. Remember though an alert staff may want to look into your bag as you leave. Before you leave find the employee that saw you come in tell them that as you go out you might set of the alarms again. When you trigger the gates again, just keep on walking. False Alarm Have a friend enter the store a few minutes before you do and act as if you do not know each. You collect the items that you wish to take while your friend gets a few low dollar items and purchases them. As they leave the store you will walk out right behind them. As they reach the alarm towers have them hesitate a little as you walk through setting off the alarm. You discreetly keep on walking while your friend stops and draws all the attention by looking confused with the bags. They should be very co-operative and happily opens all of their bags for the employee to see yet nothing they have will triggers the gates again. Give an explanation of the False Alarm by saying that it must be cell phone interference. Decoy Alarm You place an active tag into another shoppers bag while they are not paying attention. This works especially well with someone with children. You follow closely behind them as they walk through the alarm towers. The active tag will set off the alarm and the unsuspecting shopper will stop, as you continue to walk through. Parents will think that maybe their kid had something on them. All the attention will be on them as you leave the store. Suspicious Friend Have a friend enter the store a few minutes before you do and act as if you do not know each other. The friend will walk around the store acting very suspicious. Picking up items and putting them into a pocket making sure that they are seen, but not being obvious. When an employee sees someone acting suspicious they will begin watch that person. You then proceed to the opposite side of the store and retrieve the merchandise that you wish to take. Make any necessary adjustments to the items in order to remove them and then leave. Your friend should place any objects that where concealed back and then depart. If they are stopped while exiting they can easy prove that they didn’t take anything. The Bathroom Heist You need two people for this. Have a friend go into the store a few minutes after you. You go in and select whatever you want. The second person will have already entered the store and gone into the restroom. Have them wait in a stall. You go in with the merchandise. Go into the other stall next to your friend. Peek down at your friend’s shoes to make sure they are really next to you. Hand the merchandise under the stall, have them conceal the item and walk out first, leaving the store. You wait a couple of minutes, and then leave. If you are approached while leaving the store say you don’t know what they are talking about because you didn’t take anything. You decided not to buy anything and set the item down. You don’t what happened to it, it is not your reasonability to keep track of stores stuff. Do not admit to anything.!. You did nothing wrong and Loss Prevention will have to let you go. Grazing This commonly happens at a grocery store. While you are walking around shopping, you pick up some food such as candy, and eat it. If questioned you say that you entered the store with the item. When you are done with the item you discard the empty package on a shelf. Out The Wrong Door Some stores will have a separate one way entrance and exit doors. The entrance door will normally not have an alarm and can not be opened from the inside of the store. The alarm towers will be on the exit doors. This method will require two people or the help of an unsuspecting customer. You go in and retrieve merchandise from the store and conceal it. When you are ready to leave the store with your items, you wait at the entrance door. Have your friend open the entrance door for you as you walk out. You could do this without a friends help. Just wait by the entrance as a customer comes in and grab the door before it closes and walk out. Walk Out You go into a store and shop like you normally would collecting as many expensive items as you can carry. As long as your appearance and attitude are not of a suspicious nature you should go unnoticed. Once you have collected your items just walk out and go to your car and leave. This is easily done in small clothing shops that do not have Loss Prevention. The sales associates will be slow to react. It could also be done in large department stores that have multiple entrances as long as you have a friend waiting in a car ready to leave. If the store has only Ink Tags you may not even be noticed as you leave. If an alarm sounds, then continue to walk calmly out the door. Grab and Run (not really recommended) You enter a store with prior knowledge of what you are looking for. You move toward the merchandise you wish to take. Once you have the merchandise then proceed to the nearest store exit, very quickly. I recommend two people, one as a driver and the other as the runner. Before entering the parking lot for the store, remove the license plate. Coordinate watches and have a set time that the car will pull up the door. Before dashing out, make sure the driver knows to open the rear passenger door. This way you can just run out and dive into the back as the driver peels off because employees are sure to follow you out. Find a safe place to reattach your license plate. Due to the short time that you are inside the store, the people who attempt this are rarely caught, or in some cases even detected. Also a group of people can rush a store and grab as much merchandise as possible and then rush out. The speed with which this happens and the large numbers of people involved make it very difficult to stop. Emergency Exits This a very old technique and still may work from time to time especially during the holidays. A person gathers a lot of expensive merchandise into a cart and goes to the nearest Emergency Exits . You grab all of your items, push the bar that sets off an alarm and open the door. Have a friend in a car waiting right outside the door for a fast get away. You need to remember that exits will usually have cameras watching them and all of your actions and your face could be recorded. Emergency exits will all have alarms and the newer ones are on a time release. This means when you hit it, it will not open for 10 seconds after the alarm goes off. Loss Prevention are very aware of this tactic and will be watching for suspicious behavior around these doors. Casher Scanning An easy scam done by a cashier is to have a barcode stuck on the inside of their wrist so when a friend wishes to purchase something, instead of swiping the item the cashier actually swipes their wrist. This is effective when purchasing fifty dollar video games, which will actually ring up a couple packs of gum. This method eludes security cameras since it looks like an actual sale transaction is taking place. Receipt Passing With this technique you need a partner who waits out side as you enter the store. You select an expensive item and proceed to the checkout and purchase the item. Outside of the store you Pass the receipt and the stores bag off to your partner while you take the item to your car. With the receipt and bag concealed the second person goes into the store and finds the same item. they will then inconspicuously place the item into the bag and pick up a cheaper item on the way to the registers. With the receipt in hand they pay for the cheap item telling the casher they thought that they had better get this item before they leave. Fake Returns You go to the returns desk with a receipt and a box that contains a used or broken item, or something that has the same weight as the original item. This is best done when the return cashiers are busy and will not open the package. It also helps to have completely resealed the box and saying that it has never been opened. You would just like to have something different. However most high dollar items and almost all electronics will have a serial number on the outside of the box and it will be scanned at time of purchase. If it is returned, it will have to match the serial number on the item inside the box. They will open the box to double check it. You should have purchased the original item with cash so as to leave no evidence pointing to you. Receipt printing This method is a little more involved then most techniques because it requires you to have a thermal printer and receipt paper from the store you wish to make returns to. This can only be done with stores that do not use Bar-coding identification on the receipts. You purchase a few high value items with cash and gain a receipt that you can then copy. You proceed to make multiple copies of the same receipt so that you can use them to return items that you have taken from the store for a cash refund. Receipt-less returns This is a way of receiving cash or a store merchandise card without a receipt. You could attempt to remove items from off of the sales floor, walk up to the return desk, say that you lost your receipt and you would like to receive a refund. Unfortunately this is a risky move because Loss Prevention might be watching you as you go the return desk. After concealing the items, you leave the store. You would then proceed to another store and return the item there with out a receipt. Most stores will now require you to have a photo ID to return an item without a receipt and will limit how many returns you can make in a year. Large dollar amounts will always have to be approved by a supervisor. You can have fake Ids made up so that you can return more often to a store. Fence Sliding In stores that have garden centers one may be capable of sliding small expensive items under the fence. You then leave out the exit and come around to where slide your item under the fence. Or you could slide it to a waiting friend on the other side. Just remember to watch for those outdoor cameras. Key & Serial Numbers Many people download versions of games or software from the internet but cannot use the full version without a valid license. There are a couple ways of obtaining a license without removing the merchandise from the store. Take the item into a blind spot so that the packaging can be removed. Conceal the item and then take it into the privacy of a bathroom or dressing room to remove the packaging. Copy the serial number and then place the package in an inconspicuous place away from prying eyes. Defective Software A person buys a piece of software from a computer store, exits, opens the software, and records the serial number / CD key for single license of the software purchased. After at least a few hours the same person re-enters the store where he bought the software and complains to customer service that the installation disc is defective. Most computer store policies allow same-item exchange for opened computer software, so the person is given a different copy of the same software. The person now has two licenses after only paying for one. Self-Checkout It is possible to pass small items expensive items or large items through the self checkout without scanning them. You can do this if you have a lot of items you are purchasing. You can take a large item and pretend to scan it and place it right into the bag at the same time you pick up on the bag and place into your cart. The bagging area has a weigh scale that checks the weight of the scanned items. If there is a discrepancy, the supervising attendant is signaled to come to the station for assistance. The object is to never let the unscanned item sit in the bagging area. The scales will some times miss small light items so you could place multiple items into a bag without the computer noticing it. Beware - these checkout lanes are watched very closely by LP. Most have a camera overhead watching what you scan and a computer screen off site mirroring what your scanning. Barcode Counterfeiting While you are shopping you find an expensive item that you wish to have. You also noticed a cheaper version of the same item. You copy the numbers down from the UPC / Barcode off of the cheaper item. You can find bar coding applications and information on the internet that will generate a bar code for you. Print one out on a sticky label and then take it back into the store and place it over the barcode of the expensive item. Go through the checkout process, make a payment, have any security tags deactivated by the cashier and then walk out without arousing suspicion with your new item. Ticket Switching You find an item on clearance and remove the clearance tag. You then find a similar high dollar item and apply the clearance tag to it. You then bring the high dollar item to an unsuspecting cashier and pay for it at a clearance price. Unfortunately most retailers today now utilize electronic barcodes that when scanned will ring up the correct price. Gift Card Cloning With this tactic you go into a store and remove a bunch of Gift Cards that have no value. With a card reader you obtain the numbers off of the magnetic strip on the back of the cards and make copies of them. You then return the cards and wait for a customer to activate one. Once activated and money is added to the card the value is also then passed to the cloned card. Opps - Did I Do That When a person takes their place in the check out line with the items they intend to take, and pay for only one of those items while holding what they want to take in full view to cause confusion but avoid suspicion due to their apparent intention of payment. If the unlikely event of being caught, they could simply pass off the attempt as accidental. Some of these are obviously more practical than others but thought to add them all anyway. Feel free to add more, happy lifting + stay safe.
2020.09.18 20:32 TheYamarashiThe Ultraviolence. chapter 1: The Sun god
It was a busy night as usual in The Pantheon. A popular hotel in the middle of Number City, this 36 floor establishment is a frequent spot for the richest and wildest citizens in Number City. As it's top lovels hosts the wildest and rambunctious parties the city that have ever seen. Neon light flash back and forth as the bass line of rave music seems to put the attendees of the 32nd level in a euphoric trance. Men, women and those who does not want to be labeled by tradiotional gender identification, dance to the pulsating EDM music while they drink and consume copious amount of recreational drugs to heighten their experience. The DJ, a skinny man approximately 6'7" in height chooses amongst his library of music for the night by simply rotating the bezel, portruding from the right side of his head, just right above the ear. A simple "upgrade" of course, this allows him to upload music to the microscopic computer implanted above his cervical vertrebrae or the upper part of his spine and connects trough the different available USB5 ports located behind his ear. His audience are not alienated by this bizarre creature. With cables on his head connected to a multi-platform system unit that is serving them "good music", the audience too has ports on the back of their ears. And as the night goes on, you can hear a slight commotion through the crowd of intoxicated cyber-humans. Some of them gestures through the air to "open" their phones, of course, through holographic imaging processed by the tiny bits of light ray emitted by an optic sensor on the palm of the hand. They order their holographic "devices" to take a picture or "share" what they're currently seeing. Apollo Gustanov, is a 6'2", medium-built man with a wide shoulder and pronounced jawline. His blonde hair that looked like it came from a caucasian cop in an 80's buddy-cop movie, it also shines streaks of gold. Microfibers implanted in the scalp that glows upon command by the system unit, seems to be a bit of an overkill if we're to compare it to the other more "functional" mechanical upgrades prevalent in current times. But it always did made Apollo turn heads every time. When asked why he underwent such an insignifacant cybernetic upgrade, Apollo wouldn't say that these microfiber implants are an "overkill" or an upgrade that certainly favors form-over-function. He simply says, he can. Apollo also had a reputation to uphold, being a multi-billionaire that he is and is the owner of The Pantheon hotel and affiliation to other business under the same cohorts. Apollo also wants to look the part, he is a billionaire and he does not see anything wrong with looking like one. Though, if he would be honest with himself, turning heads is the reason why he does these things. As the crowd babbled over Apollo, now with two beautiful women in his arms, Apollo goes through the half-concious sea of celebrators and to the private elavator situated at the back of the private lounges. A bulky, 6'4", mid 40's man stands in front of Apollo's private elevator, dressed in a black suit and tie then presses the tiny communicator button located right around his ear, letting his colleagues that the "boss is comin' up with two bogies". The top floor level of The Pantheon hotel, surprisingly is not as big as the floors below. What usually is a floor that hosts thousands of ravaging party-goers, the top floor of the Pantheon hotel is a quaint 2,000 square foot that has one master bedroom, a living room, a mini bar, and other rooms that are expected for creature comforts. A striking feature though that this level has is that this floor has no ceilings, well it has, albeit it's a glass ceiling allowing you to peer into the night skies. Apollo ensure the ladies he had brought that the glass ceiling can be turned off if they wish to have a more private stay, though he doubts he'll have them stay more than a couple of hours. As the trio gallops merrily to the master bedroom, the two ladies, one a 5'9" blonde and the other one a 6'0" brunette talks in a slurred speech about the insane events of the night earlier. Apollo, though he smiles and lets out a bit of a giggle, pays little to no attention to these, he had heard these stories before, he have had these women before, not the exact same one's though. It was for him, another night in the Pantheon. After the obligatory foreplay on which Apollo is slightly growing a bit tired of, the two ladies are now braced for a night long of carnal intercourse. As Apollo lets down his trousers, the two ladies gasped to the sight they saw: a throbbing 12" semi-soft, phallus-like object seems to be sitting in the middle of Apollo's thigh. Clearly this is not a natural organ or a gift of Gods to Apollo, it is a syntehtic abomination, one that is only possible through science and medical practice. But as soon as the ladies gasp, they smirk as they soon realize the pleasures this will bring to them for the rest of the evening. The night went on with ravenous sound coming out of the Pantheon, the animalistic moans from the top level blends unorganically to the hi-fi synthesizers eminating from the level below. After a couple of hours, the sound, at least on the top level, halted. Though you can still hear the roars from the level below, there was no more moans of ecstatic pleasure. The two ladies lay tired on the 14 foot wide bed, as Apollo steps outside the room, naked, he heads to the bar to grab a cold beer, a drink he enjoyed even back on his collegiate years. He then goes to the lavatory, to the sink in front of the wide mirror. He looks at his image, slowly inspecting his collar bones to the rigid features of his face. He checks for any signs of flaws or if there's any reason for him to visit his local surgeon. Everythings in tip-top shape. As Apollo turns around he is baffled by the following image: An entity wearing a fullbody hazmat suit is holding a chainsaw right in front of his door. The shade of the suit, grey, pops in the brightly lit lavatory, illuminated by the light coming from the floor. Apollo stumbles in the counter, flimsily trying to grab anything he get a hold of. He toppled the cold beer he placed there a couple of minutes ago. And as the bottle crash on the floor the hazmat suit starts charging to Apollo, revving it's matte white Stihl chainsaw. The next day, police found a middle aged man in the highest floor of The Panteon hotel. Its mangled body laying in its own pool of blood, split from the groin up until the chest. Blood drips from the exposed wires interwoven in the victims skin, it's golden hair now a faint mustard yellow now that electricity doesnt seem to be present anymore. Its mouth gaping open from the terror it had experienced, but his eyes at peace from he saw last. This was an unusual day in The Pantheon hotel.
2020.09.18 13:44 modernmedusaaHow to avoid cowardly manchildren & broke scrotes who approach anything with a pulse
These days most men are so insecure and petty they don’t have the balls to approach HWV. Believe me most of them have no pride in themselves, are insecure and know they aren’t good enough to approach you...so it isn’t worth the risk to their ego bc it’s embaressing for them to be rejected by FDS types. They know we know our value, they know we have options and they know we don’t take any shit...this deeply intimidates them. So don’t be offended if the majority of LVM aren’t coming over or seem hesitant - we’re not trying to attract these men into our net anyway. Kudos to them for being a self aware wolf if they don’t bother- it’s saving you wasted time. Rather than take this as a sign to level up- they wallow in pity instead and expect us to become desperate pickmeisha’s chasing after them and stroking their fragile egos. They’re intimidated and stay ogling you for ages hoping you’ll throw yourself on the floor and open your legs to signal you’re game or something. If he’s ogling you a lot and won’t come over...just know he’s a coward that knows you’re out of his league. You don’t need to do anymore, you don’t need to fall over yourself trying to get his attention. He’s visibly seen you and there’s a reason he is hesitating or isn’t coming over. And you have no business with a guy who doesn’t have the balls to come over and start a normal conversation. They’ve already failed by failing to start. These are lazy LVM who are used to Pickmeisha’s doing the leg work for them or they’re too insecure. Or they might have a girlfriend already. For the majority of men, their pre-frontal cortex is also damaged from excessive porn use so they can’t even read situations or signals accurately- not that they were good at that to begin with. But along with the excessive insular gaming addictions....this adds to their peculiar, incompetent, socially awkward behaviours. It leads to them putting their foot it in super fast and seeing you as some kind of elusive fuck trophy or trying too hard to dominate or neg you....this is a clear sign this man is not used to batting in this lane. Especially if they’re trying to use some PUA / redpill bullshit on you. HVM have no issue talking to women like humans and respecting them, bc they’re used to it and have success with dating women longterm. They also have a sense of esteem outside chasing skirts. If they DO have the balls to approach, these days they’re more often than not LVM going up to women way out of their league bc they’re delusional /desperate so not men you’d be interested in. The types of men that shoot their shot with any and everyone bc it’s no loss to them- they have no shame to lose bc they’re not fussy & just want sex. Pornsick. Overinflated egos. Only interested in getting their dick wet and trying to climb the status laddebrag to friends. The numbers game. These men aren’t suitable for relationships either, they don’t care whether they’re in your league or not. They just want their ego stroked. You don’t actually want their attention, bc it isn’t flattering...they’d sleep with a donut. It’s frustrating...I know. Scrotes or cowards...we don’t want either. So how do we best avoid these types of men since they’re everywhere? Short of never leaving your house...the only real way to avoid this frustrating mess is to hang around places the majority of broke insecure scrotes can’t get in or have little interest in. To be out of their view as much as possible. That means not hanging around your local generic clubs/bars and big chain restaurants where any old regular degular could stumble into. You can’t expect to find HVM by going to the same worn out predictable clubs, bars and eateries in your local dull town where 1000 other LVM and pickmeisha’s are visiting every week.If you know your area is full of predictable LVM & pickmeisha’s doing way too much for them- change scenery. These places are going too be too full of desperate pickmeisha’s lowballing you and LVM who are used to them, so why would they want to put effort in. The bar for impressing women there will be super low there...so even the most boring mediocre thumb looking guy looks like a catch in comparison. Chances of finding a HVM that way are slim- you need to go where there’s more competition between men, which gives you more leverage to choose. Low value men tend to live repetitive lives and prefer going to places that are cheap, low effort, predictable with their equally unimpressive friends etc. That’s where you’ll find the vast majority of them. This means you have to start thinking outside the box....think of places scrotes wouldn’t bother to visit bc it’s too much effort/too pricey/too out the way. Have you noticed scrotes are always complaining about ‘snooty’ women, ‘snooty’ bars, ‘snooty’ restaurants etc. They hate lifting a finger and having to put any effort /thought in...that’s why they offer walks, coffee dates and ‘drinks dates’ in their local. They’re playing the numbers game for easy sex. They’re clearly boring & get rejected often bc they think you have to ‘earn’ effort from them when they’re the one trying to get picked here🤡. Those snooty areas are the exact places you want to go and that is the exact type of woman you should aspire to be. Yes whatever your interests are...whether it’s theatre/sport/arts/fitness/food or something niche...there are high end places or events where people with similar interests gather. Even if you live in a dull mediocre town full of broke low value men and pickmeisha’s fawning over them, you can still do this. Dress smart & head to the local nearby neighbourhoods that are more expensive to live...where people have better jobs and there’s classier places to go out. Start making a habit of visiting different areas and you’ll soon take note of the ones that seem more promising. The bar for impressing women there should be higher...and if it isn’t...go whisper in their ear and teach them a thing or two 🤣. Confident well groomed men with stuff going for themselves have no problem approaching HWV in an appropriate manner, but a lot of them are on the move and when they head out, it’s usually with a plan/purpose. They’re not stumbling into any old generic place or their local pub every single Friday to talk about the same boring shit they did last week. They will only visit certain high quality/ classy places on the regular...other than that they will be switching things up trying new restaurants, going to special events at rooftop bars or pop up food markets with live music etc. They’re in the loop with where is best to go and when. They’ll go to places where other cultured/educated/interesting people gather. For example, they’ll search for the best local breakfast place in town that’s hidden near a beautiful hiking spot...it might not be the cheapest/most convenient obvious option but it’s the best and worth the effort. There’s something stand out about it- like the pancakes being 10/10 or something. They’ll have usually researched these places or been given a tip off from a friend or visited before. Basically these guys put effort into their plans, they don’t just waste time doing any old thing. This is how they are naturally, they don’t need to be ‘trained’ to do interesting things. Also if you’re the same & go out to a lot of high end places & visit different areas a lot (you clearly have a life outside of them)...they know other men will be taking notice & this triggers their mate guarding instinct ‘what if she finds someone better? I can’t be the only guy who noticed, better put some effort in’. Since women always receive more interest, the ball is in your court. Don’t forget it. Go to places/events that require some effort, thought and planning. Special events are your friend. This is because these men have a zest for life and like filling their lives with quality interesting things, they don’t mind going the extra mile when they know it’s worth it. They will go to bars that have pricey cocktails with quality ingredients and a nice view for example ...because they already like going for the atmosphere there so they don’t need to be dragged. Which means it’s no sweat taking you and they’ll have a ton of nice places in mind to take you with zero complaining. They will go to spots out of the way bc they heard it’s interesting, has nice views or the food /entertainment/atmosphere is top notch. A lot of these rooftop bars with be filled with businessmen and the like having after work gatherings as well (especially in summer)...the bigger the group the better. Even if you don’t like them romantically, they could be useful for career contacts or something. Still better company than some dumb ass cheap Bumble scrote boring you with his predictable lies. I’ve seen v ordinary women working at fancy events part time as a waitress and using it to their advantage...whether romantically or professionally. Anything can be finessed if you put your mind to it. Start to think of how these men can be of service to you and where you want to be in life....that’s exactly what men are thinking when they approach women, especially those out of their league. No this doesn’t make them high value by default, but due to the higher prices and stricter dress codes/ door policies for some of these places... it certainly weeds a lot of crap out and most (not all) these men will know to court you properly and be able to hold decent conversations/ have a decent job. Certain behaviours will be frowned upon in these places, so they’re likely to behave much better. In short...there is some benefit to you running them a shot or listening to them speak. They know they have to bring something to the table and they have something to put on it, so it’s not an issue. HVM are not going to be the guy arguing about who’s getting the next round of diet cokes lmao- they’d embaress themselves pulling that kind of move in these high end places....people would stare them down and make them feel awkward/ insignificant...including other men waiting for them to flunk so they can talk to you. And you can spot the broke flashy ones who snuck their way in a mile off bc they’re often acting different /immature or ordering a ridiculous amount of bottles for someone’s bday trying to get attention- yes you know the ones with the sparklers going wild jumping around trying to invite 7 girls over. If they’re making a huge scene and behaving immaturely...they’re probably LVM or not used to these places. You can tell what they’re there for. So you need to get thinking, where are the places scrotes and cowards would mostly be repulsed by? Places that would make them feel insignificant, out of place, uncultured, unrefined, lost, broke, insecure etc. Places that trigger Male competition and give you leverage ...where interesting men in better industries gather....where they’re the norm rather than the odd one out tons of pickmeisha’s are fighting over. Where it is expected they bring something to the table bc all the other men around them can too- where their money/education/smart dress sense or whatever is less of a leverage. Where the general bar to impress is much higher. Where FDS types are the majority not the few- you need to be in the vicinity of women with higher standards and men with more to offer. Places where men would at least be confident/secure enough to approach bc they know they have some pride in themselves and the things they entertain. Those are the places you want to spend your time around....and you’ll likely meet quite a few other FDS minded women there too....and they can give you even more tip offs. Perhaps you might even make friends and go out together. You will likely get on with these women far better as they have an abundance of options, aren’t the jealous type and see through scrotes. They are often very good fun & unbothered by men. They only entertain them if they’re putting in a lot of effort. This is how you make use of connections...but first you need to mingle around places where high value people gather, where your regular low value people wouldn’t frequent (including pickmeisha’s & LVM)...then before you know it you’ll have a go to list of where to go. You’ll be out of the scarcity mindset and used to turning down men with a lot more going- so audacious scrotes will pale in comparison & you’ll be more firm with turning them down quick. You won’t see them as so special and scarce anymore bc you know where to find more of what you like & often...so you can get closer to finding one that’s more suitable for you. You won’t just be chasing after a guy just bc he brushes his teeth, opens a door & can spell properly bc that’s what seemed like the ‘best’ option in your hometown. This doesn’t guarentee you’ll instantly meet the ‘one’ this way by any means but it takes a lot of the stress out ...it weeds out the bottom feeders/leeches and gives you a better chance. You will waste less time on men who have little to offer and a lot to leech- mediocre men who have too many pickmeisha’s fighting over them. You won’t be impressed by a guy doing simple things so easily so your confidence will be higher, which warns off scrotes. You will also be spending less time in places they frequent, so less harassment /drama from these clowns. You will at least have some fun and benefit from dating these guys even if it fizzles out. And as we say at FDS, dating should be a stress free experience as a high value woman! You should not be stressing over these men or putting up with BS.
Start Here! Seeing my hometown of Mistwynd for the first time in months felt surreal. It had been a while since I departed to the tomb of Ashantia’Luva with her gem in hand. Not one soul knew where I went or why I left, which probably gotten me in big trouble with my parents. They would have never consented for me to leave on such a far fetched mission, but my delusions of divinity pictured me bringing the lady of life to the plague-stricken populous to cure all of their ailments. Instead, I’ve awakened a group of false Deities, ready to enact their rule over the realm. Raytal finished loading the last of the barrels onto a cart. “Alright, you should be all set,” he said. I ran my hand down the strong neck of the ox a farmer allowed us to use; for a high price that is. “You sure you don't want to come with me?” I asked. “Mistwynd would love to see who cured the star plague.” “Have you forgotten your old beliefs, Varenna?” Raytal said. “You saw with your own eyes the terror of Ashantia’Luva. I’m afraid the majority of worshipers will not change their beliefs as easily as you did. Especially seeing the sun shaper in person--the true evil who slew their Deities and put them in a tomb for eternity. Don't you even try to change their views. Come back to me when the cure has been distributed.” I nodded, knowing that the pure faith my town--this realm had in the Deities would likely not waiver. I was a foolish person to think I can change people’s faith in a religion they worshiped for centuries. ### I pulled into Mistwynd, riding on the cart’s bench. The sturdy ox moved through the mud-caked path. A few dirty children dressed in rags examined me with their wide hungry eyes. Vendors began to step outside of their booths as a decent crowed put a stop to their daily duties to all check out the strange girl with a cart full of barrels. I steadied the ox to a halt and stood on the bench. “People of Mistwynd,” I said, realizing many people gave me their undivided attention. A sudden flutter of nervousness filled my chest. “I bring you the cure for star plague.” The townspeople muttered amongst one another as they cautiously peered over to the barrels. “Please, grab a bowl, cup, anything that can carry the contents,” I continued. “It’s a cure brought from the distant city of Boldon, from an old friend.” A few townspeople conceded and went to the barrels with tin cups in hand. I tipped over a barrel, another man jammed a spout into the wooden exterior and twisted it. A steady stream of light blue liquid spilled into his cup. “Ashantia’Luva bless us! It’s the cure prophesized in the old texts!” one man said. “The four Deities have worked their wonders! They’ve given us the blue cure!” a woman hollered. “Ashantia’Luva reawakened herself and the others! And now the realm flows with holiness and prosperity,” an old man waved his cane. I felt the blood rush to my face as it began to burn. How could these people give praise to the Deities? If only they knew who supplied this cure--who healed me and protected me when their Deity, Ashanti’Luva, refused to mend my wounds unless I paid a price. They need to know the truth. I twisted the spout off. The crowded line of townspeople all jerked their heads to me. “This is not Ashantia’Luva’s doing,” I said. “She did not awaken herself. I’m the one that did!” The crowd went from muttering to raised voices of protests. “The four Deities are not who you believe they are!” I pressed forward. “They are cruel and seek only their personal gain. The lady of life refused to heal my wounds when she herself took part in injuring me. She would only do so if I accepted her offer of servitude.” Wide eyes turned to angry ones. Thankful faces turned to nasty sneers. A few townspeople yelled a protest. “This cure is not from the Deities,” I said. “It is from the sun shaper.” The words echoed into the muddy roads of the town as it grew deftly quiet. The calm before the storm ended as Raytal’s name brought a fury of hatred to the crowd. “The true evil has poisoned her mind!” a man yelled. “This cure must be poison. The sun shaper sent her to poison us, and finish the work his star plague could not!” I glanced around in a fevered blur as the deafening roars of the crowd shook my head. My eyes fixated onto my mother, who held my baby brother. I reached a hand out to her, “mom!” I screamed. A few townsmen beside her looked, their hatred fuming off of their faces. My mom looked around and sheepishly tossed her cowl over her face and vanished in the thick sea of angry zealots. “Mom, please help me!” I screamed helplessly. My mother was gone, nowhere to be seen. “Dispose of this sun shaper’s poison!” a large man yelled as he yanked a dagger from his belt. He stabbed at the barrel until the blue liquid began to pour out onto the mud. A pair of younger men jumped onto the cart, pushing me to the ground. They hoisted the barrels into the air and through them to the floor. The barrels that did not explode on impact were stoned until every last drop of the star plague’s cure absorbed into the soil. “Banish the heathen!” “Stone the heathen, let her meet Ashantia’Luva’s judgment in the afterlife!” A large stone bounced off of my back, sending me crashing face-first into the mud. The pain electrified throughout my body. Another smashed into my shoulder. I screamed and curled myself into a ball, absorbing the barraged of rocks. “The four Deities will commend us for ridding their realm of this heathen filth!” a large man said as he held a massive, bone-crushing boulder. I reached into my pocket and grabbed the icy vial that Sazra gave me. Use it when your life is in true danger, her voice soothed my mind. A deafening roar shook a few townspeople off of their feet. Terror grew across the angry faces as they all peered up into the sky. I wiped the blood from my brow and gazed up. “Inferni,” I whispered. “Raytal…” My vision blurred until it went black. NEXT
2020.09.18 02:34 EW_EntricanLong commutes are never worth it...
A few years ago I was employed as an IT consultant at a biochemical research office in the middle of nowhere in East Anglia. It usually took about an hour and a half to get from where I lived out to the office, but the pay was decent, so I was quite happy with the long commute. One Sunday night in late August, I got called up at quarter to twelve from my supervisor telling me there’d been some massive system-wide crash in the evening, and that she needed me to come in pronto to get it sorted before the morning. I knew I’d get good compensation, so I downed two cups of coffee, hopped in my car and headed off for the office. The drive was mainly along a motorway, although at that hour it was almost all populated by lorries. However, a good stretch took me through a track of rural countryside, which was criss crossed by narrow roads bordered by large hedgerows and small woods. I’ll admit that it was a bit creepy driving through the desolate pastures and forests at midnight on an isolated expanse of road. Thanks to the trafficless conditions, I arrived in a little under an hour, and I spent the rest of the night debugging, fueled by copious amounts of coffee and Red Bull. I was done by about four-thirty, by which time I was all too happy to be heading home to get some shuteye. I stepped into my car and waved goodbye to the security man, who, apart from my supervisor, was the only other occupant of the building at the time. I was setting off just as the sky was turning that deep early morning blue, and the air was beginning to be filled with birdsong. I passed out of the office park, where the building was located, and had crossed over into the dense bocage of the country. I did my best trying to stay alert, and kept my eye on the winding road, which was even emptier than it had been when I drove up, but after about twenty minutes, my car sputtered to a stop. I yawned and checked the tank, it was still half full. I glanced at the clock, it read five minutes to five. I quietly swore to myself. This was just about the worst place to break down, and my tech expertise doesn’t really cover car engines. I switched on my old flip phone and was surprised and damned thankful that I had any service. I called AA and gave them my location, telling the operator that I’d broken down. They said someone would be out as soon as possible, probably within an hour. I was extremely tired, but decided to keep myself awake by getting out into the fresh morning air. It was getting lighter, and the surrounding landscape was bathed in the morning blue, but I estimated it would still be an hour before the sun came up. I lit a cigarette and stood smoking against my car for a few minutes, surveying the topography of the land. My part of the road was sandwiched between a small copse and a field bordered by tall hedges that rose into a slight hill topped with a large tree. The road ahead was on an incline so I couldn’t see much beyond where it crested at the top. Through the trees of the copse I could make out the shape of what appeared to be an old alms cottage, although I think it must have been abandoned. It hadn’t been more than a minute after I’d put out my cigarette when I saw a dim yellow light, which I assumed was from a low battery flashlight, approaching from the road ahead and led by three dark figures. I stood upright and squinted into the darkness, thinking that they were perhaps masochistic joggers or farm labourers heading off for work. However, as the silhouettes got closer and became clearer, I saw that they weren’t holding flashlights at all, but rather old fashioned lanterns, with wicks burning away in small glass boxes. As they approached, I got a look at them in the morning light, and by the way they were dressed, I thought they must be going to some kind of re-enactment. One of them was a policeman, but instead of wearing a high-vis vest and a heavy belt, he was dressed as an old village constable, with a black uniform and shiny buttons, with an honest-to-god silver whistle chain dangling out of his pocket. Another was in the garb of a farmer, with a tweed suit and flat cap, and seemed to be holding something heavy. As he got closer I realised that it was a double-barreled shotgun, which made me more than a little nervous. I couldn’t get a good look at the last one until they came right up to me, as he was all in black, but as soon as I glimpsed his collar I realised that he must have been a vicar. As they approached me, I could see by their eyes that they were all terrified. The constable spoke first. “Pardon sir, but have you seen a lass in white come down this way?” He spoke Broad Norfolk, and seemed overly formal in his address. “No, sorry. Is something wrong?” At that, they turned to each other. “Reverend?” said the man in tweed. The vicar seemed deep in contemplation. “If she hasn’t come along the road then she’ll be miles away by now,” said the constable. “Nonsense, she couldn’t possibly get out over the fens before dawn,” declared the man in tweed, looking towards the vicar, although he said nothing in response. “We’d need a bloody aeroplane to catch her now, George; there’s no chance she hasn’t got away.” This solemn declaration was followed by a moment of awkward silence. “Not unless she went into the wood,” the Reverend said eventually. “Well that’s it then. Come on,” said the farmer, motioning towards the copse. “I won’t go in there George, and that gun of yours won’t do naught to save us, and I reckon you know it too, Reverend.” “If she gets away, then it’s on our hands,” said the vicar quietly, “Let’s just pray we find her before daybreak.” The constable nodded gravely, and the trio turned towards the small group of trees. “Can I be of any help?” I finally asked, although to be honest I was afraid of saying anything. It didn’t matter though, as the vicar slowly turned and looked towards me as if he’d heard a very soft noise. It was as if they could no longer see me at all. I was at once glad and terrified. With that, the three of them trudged off, and I watched as the ghostly procession crossed over the low dry-stone wall bordering the copse, and, with the vicar leading them, they disappeared into the trees. I stood still against my car, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened, but after a few minutes I came to the conclusion that in my sleep deprived state, I must have begun to hallucinate, although I reasoned that nothing like that had ever happened to me before. My eyes kept drooping, so I lit another cigarette, and decided to walk up the adjacent field, which was bordered by a bridleway that led up the knoll. I crossed over a narrow footbridge, and followed up the side of the field until I reached the large oak tree that stood on the hilltop. I surveyed the landscape hidden by the ridge, which was all broad fen country, criss-crossed with hedgerows, sunken streams and canals. From my view on the slight promontory, I couldn’t make out a single hamlet, farmstead, or grain silo for miles. There was a remarkable absence of any sign of human habitation, and I was suddenly struck with how bizarre it was that the three men must have been trekking for miles in the dark with only the dim light of their lanterns. By then I was sure that they must have been real, for I could very clearly picture their worried and haggard faces in my mind. Something odd I noticed was that the trees that bordered the side of the road, which I thought had made up a small copse, seemed to stretch out a good ways further, and consisted of a considerable track of dense woodland, now lit up by the red sky of the early dawn. I couldn’t quite reconcile this in my mind, as I distinctly remembered stopping on the side of the road, and glancing at the old alms cottage through the thin treeline. Now the trees enveloped the land, and the cottage was nowhere to be seen. Just then, I heard a very distant but discernible crack, which I immediately realised must have been a gunshot. I put out the cigarette just as the tip of the sun crested the horizon, and took one last glance westward before heading down when I spotted something coming towards me from the other side of the hill. There was a distant white figure bounding up the bridleway at quite a pace. I can’t quite describe the sensation, but I suddenly felt oppressively tired, my vision blurred, and I was struck by a sharp headache, similar to the feeling you get when you stand up too quickly. This was accompanied by a feeling of unrelenting and biting dread. As my head cleared, I watched the white shape draw near; it almost appeared to be limping and running at once. I believed at the time that the strange figure was a woman, for long black hair fluttered against the wind. I vainly shouted to see if she was alright, but I was met with no reply, the unknown woman in white only continued bounding up the bridleway, seemingly faster than before. I was now increasingly worried, and looked round for any sign of the three strangers I had met not five minutes ago, or, indeed, anyone in the surrounding countryside. As it was, I was alone, with this stranger charging towards me in her unsettling hobble. I decided I would feel safer in my car and turned to walk back down the hill when what was, without a doubt, the most sickening noise I’ve ever heard sounded from behind me. I can’t say it was a scream, for I swear it couldn’t have been within the range of any human voice, and was more akin to a kettle coming to a boil, but this benign analogy was far from my mind when the wail resounded over the fields. It brimmed with an unrelenting rage and red hot fury, although behind this it was clear the noise was wholly rooted in an irrepressibly dejected and desolate suffering. Whatever had made that sound was so fierce and frenzied and alone that I had no doubt I would have met an awful end had I not taken off running down the hill. Before I fled, I hurriedly looked back in terror, and there it was, not twenty feet away. I knew then that it was an impossible distance to have closed in the two seconds that had elapsed since I first heard its wail, but there it was, half-limping the speed of an olympian. I ran like I’ve never ran before, and, as I raced down the bridleway, I heard that noise a second time, and once more before I reached the hedgerow that bordered the road. By then I could hear it moving on the ground, its uneven steps heaving it forward at an unnaturally fast pace. I leapt over the footbridge and ran out into the road, nearly out of breath, and now with the awful realisation that I couldn’t outrun my pursuer. Just as I reached my car, I heard the hum of a distant engine, and I hurriedly looked up the road, where a dark shape was crossing the distant horizon. As I shaded my eyes from the sun, I caught a glimpse of the flashing yellow emergency lights of an AA repair vehicle descending the road ahead. I span round, expecting to be confronted by that dreadful, limping white figure, but the road was empty. I was alone. Incredulous, I looked up at the hill, scanning the fields for any trace of the woman in white. I found none. Ten minutes later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of the tow truck, listening to the AA repair man going on about the advantages of an early morning shift. Somehow the banality of my situation seemed utterly ridiculous. The adrenaline was still coursing through me, and needless to say, I didn’t sleep until the following evening. Just as we departed that stretch of road, we both heard a barely audible gunshot. The repair man remarked that it must be rabbit hunters, but I remained silent. As the truck crested the ridge-line, I glanced back towards the hill. I caught sight of a piece of white fabric stuck in the oak tree, and watched as it wrestled itself free with the breeze and fluttered off towards the sunrise.
2020.09.17 06:07 SimpleOk4888Part Two - Untitled (previously The Aryan Light)
"Well, Mother will not approve Lilly. You will just have to change before we board the boat." "All my clothes are packed Maria. I don't think Mrs. De Sansol is going to allow me to take the time to go through my luggage." "We will just have to buy you a dress, then. I'm sure Mother would rather have you in any dress than a mud covered one. It will have to come out of your wages of course." "Of course. But Maria, make sure you ask your mother before you go out buying things. I don’t need to be in any trouble with her." She pleaded as the carriage bounced along the dirt road. "Oh Lilly, you worry far too much. Mother adores you." "Maria . . .” Lillian warned. "Alright, alright. I will check with Mother. Goodness, you are such a nag sometimes." Maria crossed her arms and slouched back against the seat. "Maria, what would your mother say if she saw you sitting like that?" "She isn’t here to say anything, so I may sit however I please." Maria stuck her tongue out towards Lillian and laughed, but she sat straight anyways. Lillian shook her head and smiled at Maria’s playfulness. There was still quite a long way to go until they reached the boat that would take them to Nalina and they only had each other to entertain themselves. Lillian pulled out one of her favorite adventure novels, as Maria fell in to a cat nap, and began reading. They arrived at the docks early the next morning. The Port was buzzing with people loading and unloading the many ships. Lillian was stunned by how many people were walking around. Navymen rushed one way while porters carried crates another. The crates themselves were as unique as the men carrying them. Mechanists carried crates made of steel and gears while the Astrian’s carried many boxes labeled wild animals. People mounted containers of purple, blue, green, and every color you can imagine on ship after ship. And the ships! Oh, they were so large! Their wood and steel bodies rose taller than any of the buildings in town. They were just like Lillian imagined they had looked in her novels. As she turned, a box across the port caught her eye. Staring she could have sworn the box shimmered, almost as if it was trying to disappear and glow at the same time. "Lilly, stop staring and get out there, we haven't got all day you know." Maria huffed. Lillian quickly gathered herself and stepped out of the carriage. People rushed this way and that way, carrying luggage or items for the trade ships. It was difficult for Lillian not to stare as she made her way to the rear of the carriage. "What’s the matter hun, never been to port?" A man looked down on Lillian from atop the carriage, startling her. He was average size, not too muscular but a nice tan. His short brown hair was combed back in a sleek style. He wore a military uniform, but seemed to have been sent to help with the luggage. "No, I can’t say that I have." She smiled. "It is a lot busier than I imagined." "This? This ain't nothing. There's only one ship leaving port today. Some days there are four or five ships leaving in the same day." he said as he hefted a suitcase down and handed it to Lillian. She set it aside quickly as he handed her another. "Oh, my. I can’t even imagine how busy it must get on those days." "Oh, sure. The docks get so crowded you can barely move. Don't even think about carrying anything. That’s why we come in the middle of the night to load things on. But seems others have the same idea so it’s not always as productive as we hope." He handed her the last suitcase and swiftly hopped down from the top of the carriage. Two more navymen showed up to carry the luggage on board. "Anyhow, I best be getting this luggage away. My names Jeremy by the way. I hope t'see you again." He tipped his head in a quick farewell as he scooped up the last bit of luggage and followed the other two men towards the ship. "Lillian! Oh where is that girl?" Lillian hurried over to where Mr. and Mrs. De Sansol were climbing down from the carriage. "Oh, finally! Where on earth have you been child?" Mrs. De Sansol screeched. "I was helping with the luggage ma'am." "That's what the men are for. Come, we are supposed to be boarding by now. Take my handbag girl, we must be going." She looked her up and down a moment and tsk’d at the mud-covered hem before marching off towards the boat. "Yes Ma'am." She nodded as she took Mrs. De Sansol's bag and quickly followed them towards the boat. Maria fell in to step next to her a few seconds later. "Here Lilly, I bought a dress from the shop, you can change while Mother and Father are confirming the tickets." Maria handed her a light blue dress, it was simple for Maria's taste, no doubt she was scolded by her mother not to get anything too extravagant. But it was still more beautiful than any of Lillian's current dresses. She slipped into the small lavatory and quickly began undressing and stepping in to the new dress. It was pale blue with white lace around the neckline, the sleeves ended just past the shoulder so Maria had provided a cover up. She admired herself in the small, dirty mirror. Her favorite part was the bow that wrapped around her slim waist and tied in behind her. She was thankful the dress was long enough to cover her old brown boots, even without the mud they looked terrible. Now finished, she quickly tightened her bun, tucked a brown curl behind her ear and exited the lavatory. Lillian stepped out still messing with her uncooperative bun. Her thick curly hair never wanted to stay put, no matter how many pins she stabbed it with. She had just secured her final pin when she misplaced her foot on a stone. She slipped suddenly, letting out a loud gasp as she realized she was going to fall, right into a mud puddle. But before she completely lost her balance someone grabbed her arm, yanking her to the side and out of the path of the mud. She steadied her breath as she took a step away from the stranger. "Well, aren't you a right fine looking lady, Miss. Good thing you didn't end up in that mud puddle. Although, it seems it wouldn't have been the first time this morning." The stranger smirked. View Poll
2020.09.17 04:32 EricaShmericaOFFHappily Ever After Book Report: Ep 14
Good morning Colt-ee, my dck: Cue the Rocky music…. Now that Jess is out of the picture, and he got bored of sending out micro mini pics, Colt-ee thought it would be a great time to have a DIY breast reduction by way of exercise (he saw it on Pinterest). He used those community park monkey bar things that I was pretty sure were only there to put your foot up to tie your shoe…and then he made himself vomit (funny, because most of his scenes usually make everyone else vomit. I guess it was just his turn!) Colt was joined by his random friend/ new life coach, Steve, who tried to convince Colt-ee that he needs to focus on himself and his weightloss journey instead of accumulating more Brazillian babes from the internet. Random Steve then questioned Colt about his relationship with his mother, and what role she plays in his romantic relationships, making it easy for Colt to blame his troubles with the ladyfolk on his mom instead of his dck pics. With the encouragement from New Stranger Steve, Colt agrees to have a talk with Debbie about cutting the cord a bit, and butting out of his personal life…. (although he might be losing his Only Fans photographer in the process….) . He and Hired Extra Steve also did some man things, like toss the football around, which was mostly watching Colt-ee run around more awkwardly than Pol. Can he be categorically done and dusted yet??! Angela & Michael: It’s Meemaw & Michael’s freaking wedding day!! I have been waiting for this moment for 5 freaking seasons and here we are! Angela was crowned and ready, walking down the aisle with the Nigerian band behind her (I wish they would’ve used the original audio instead of dubbing the cheesy inspirational “Metro PCS” alarm tone music instead….). Michael looked truly happy as they met at the altar, with the officiant reading the rules that there is only to be ONE wife, and more wives would result in the illegal act of bygomy (then Angela slipped him a $20 for reading that one out loud). The ceremony and vows went well, until it was time for Ang to agree to love, cherish, honor and…. OBEY! She stalled for a minute or two, before saying the words through gritted teeth, but she finished it off with that famous Meemaw laugh and charm! Mazel tov to Mr & Mrs, Ilesani! (And double Mazel tov to my toaster, who finally found it’s forever home!) Angela changed into a red dress for the reception, where she danced the night away. It looked like they were having a do-over of the bachelor(ette) party, as Michael threw dollar bills at Ang as she danced, and even Mama Michael was droppin’ it like it’s hot, or at least room temperature. There were a few other fun little moments at the wedding, such as Angela crowning Michael her “king”, and Michael taking off Angela’s garter belt with his teeth (while the “Star Spangled Banner” played on loop in his head). It was finally time for Angela’s favorite part- the cake, which did not disappoint! It was half American and half Nigerian flag themed, and there were pyrotechnics involved.The cake toppers though were slightly concerning, being that the bride figurine was a tall, slender young African woman (kind of thought Angela might have accused Michael’s groom figurine of cheating and had an “Im Done” moment….) I heard Colt sent them a text, saying “Happy Wedding Day, my d*ck”, which reminded Angela that Michael better not drink too much at the reception, as the King needed to service the Queen on their wedding night. Apparently all went well in that department, as the next morning Angela strutted her long clip-in ponytail (that she found in the back of Darcey’s car, and then lost somewhere in her bottomless bra) over to Jojo’s room to brag about her successful wedding night. Somehow Jojo still had an appetite after hearing that overshare, so they took her out to a “thank you” send off lunch, as she was preparing to leave Nigeria. Sissy Jojo expressed to Michael that she was a little skeptical of his intentions from the beginning, and worries that he will come to America and leave his new wife. Micheal did his best to explain himself and his true love for Angela, and in the end, Jojo supports her sissy and just wants to see her happy. After Sissy was deposited at the airport, the newlyweds went for a romantic dinner wearing their wedding crowns. They discussed Michael working when and IF he finally gets to the U.S, which he seems excited to do. They also talked about what a great time they had at the wedding (as well as the wedding night), which reminded Angela that they’d better leave dinner early, as Michael has work to do… Unfortunately, a few hours later Skyla called with a vague message about Angela’s mother being taken by ambulance to the hospital. Angela was panicking and heartbroken over the thought of not making it back in time to see her mother, who was critically ill. It was such a stressful trip through and through, but at least she was able to have a great time at the wedding, before hearing this crushing news. I would text her a picture of a hugging emoji, and say something like “thinking of you, hang in there”, but Colt on the other hand…..let’s hope he doesn’t text first…... Larissa-ee: Larissa and Eric-ee are driving to the surgical center for surger-ee time. Eric does a pretty accurate Larissa impression as they drove, and discussed all of the nervousness and excitement that one experiences when they’re about to get a new nose and boob-ees. Once there, Larissa got her shower cap and gown on in preparation for the surgery, with Eric by her side as her hype man. It is, after all, an investment in their future (I guess the boobs are the new 401k). TLC went back to their roots with this portion of the episode, as we actually got to see some “behind the scenes” of Larissa’s surgery, before they went back to manufactured drama/ business as usual.Eric-ee was pacing around the waiting room, worried about his investment, as Larissa took her time coming out of the anesthesia. He laughed nervously upon seeing her, probably already gearing up for his new “Larissa in pain” impression he’s going to do in the car while driving her to her next cosmetic procedure… Poor Larissa did seem zonked, as they returned to the house, where she laid down in Eric’s dorm room bed with the creepy hand painting hanging over top, clearly paying homage to his infamous “Vogue-ing”. Eric-ee probably figured he would just have to rub her boobs, and not actually take care of her, so he seemed a bit shocked as he nervously shoveled soup between her inflated lip-ies. Can’t wait to see the big reveal next week of the new nose-ie and boob-ees! A text from Colt: “Hope you heal soon! My d*ck” Elizabeth & Undrrrei: It’s the morning of the big day, as Sister Jen is helping Elizabeth with her makeup to prepare for My Big Fat (is it over yet?) Moldy Wedding. Undrrrei is in his own chamber with his brother and friend preparing as well. Both parties separately discuss the happenings from last week, which were just like the week before, and kind of like the one before that. The families both meet outside of the Moldovan church, with both Elizabeth and Undrrrrer arm dressed to the Moldovan nines. They crowned Libby with the cutest flower crown and she looked like an adorable doll that might pop open and sprout 4 other dolls of varying smaller sizes, with the smallest holding a platter of salami. (Honestly, Moldovan Church Bride is her look. She should always wear this). Once inside the Moldovan church, the priest read the couple their vows and put the rings on them himself as he performed the traditional Moldovan ceremony. Fast forward to that evening where the second time married couple arrived at their Moldy reception, which featured tons of food, as well as what Undrrrei described as “high quality entertainment”. Elizabeth looked nice in her fancy wedding dress (though her hair and makeup were kinda "bleh"). The wedding looked fabulous, with a live band, dancers wearing capes, oversized candelabras, and more meat than meets the eye. Even Jen was blown away at the level of fanciness Moldy-O brought to the table. In America, we mostly have Pauly-D-esque djs, an updated remix of the Cotton Eyed Joe, and the YMCA. But here in Moldova, there are caped Von Trapp breakdancers that also do handstands! Charlie seemed to be enjoying the wedding… well, mostly the open bar, to be specific. Mama Elizabeth, who claimed to only have expected to see poverty and “sad people”, was so excited to see “fancy things” and “happy people” (Why does she remind me of Stiffler’s mom?? Specifically from “Best In Show”.) A highlight of the wedding was the bride’s bread ceremony, where the “Heidi of the Mountains'' dancers twirled over with a circular wreath of carbs for the couple to rip apart. Whoever got the bigger piece of bread is supposed to be the “head of the household”, which we know is Undrrrei’s big thing. Lucky for Libby, it was a 50/50 split (which was a fun little exercise, but she still has to let him finish all of his fots. Also, I think production edited out the traditional Moldovan Cutting of the Cheese ceremony) Elder Chuck decided to give a speech, thanking everyone for their hospitality (especially the personal tour of the Moldovan Walmart), which received a roaring round of applause. Baby Chuck, however, had too much of the bottle that night and took it upon himself to grab the mic and slur something about “Umerica…. And downt liv offuh mah dad”. Libby had enough and started clapping to end his drunken tirade, but Undrrrrei was not having it. He ushered Chuckles Jr. outside, who ended the segment with the best line ever; “ You tryin’ to fight me in Moldova???” Hold on to your cold cuts, kids! We won’t know for sure until next week. I give this wedding a 4 salami rating. (There is only a salmani rating system in Moldova, no stars). I would have given it 5 salamis if the baby donkey was there. Pol & Kreeknee: When Pol isn’t running like a weirdo, he’s doing his other favorite thing - schlepping luggage. Paul and Kreeknee are flying back to Brazil with baby Pierre, which still doesn’t make much sense to me. Weren’t they just there? Weren’t they only in the U.S. for 2 months? How did they have the money to buy the plane tickets? Are the German Shepards left behind, eating the baby baguettes? Paul’s mom came by the airport for a tearful goodbye with her grandson and one last chance to tell Pol not to screw up. Kreknee’s hair was clean and she smiled for like the second time ever. She felt that this open ended trip home to Brazil might be just what they need to be able to come back to America, the logic in which I’m still trying to understand. I hope Colt sends them a text, "Have a safe flight! My d*ck". They deserve it. Kalani & Asuelu: After the disaster of the Washington trip and one trip to the therapist, Asuelu invited his Disney Villain family to visit in an attempt to repair their relationship with Kalani. His money hungry mother and sister Rosa flew in for the occasion, and pro-wrestler sister Tammy is driving over from Salt Lake City to join the fun. Asuelu met up with his mother and Rosa at their hotel room to pregame, and discuss what happened between them and Kalani. Turns out not only did she say all of those awful things to Kalani, but she meant them, and now feels like Asuelu should threaten divorce if his wife doesn’t agree to give her all of their frozen yogurt riches (She should really join the Samwan Mafia, if she isn’t already a member… and if that’s a thing). Also, poor Rosa keeps getting dragged along to all of this, and they don’t even let her communicate with subtitles or anything! I need to know if she’s team “Show me the money” or team “I would have dropped her, periot.” It was the showdown we were all waiting for. Papa Low vs. Mother Asuelu, and I have to say, it fell a bit flat. Kalani and her parents (along with the boob bandits) sat down at the diner, ready to hash out their issues over hashbrowns. The Asuelians finally arrived, with Mama Asuelu making sure to awkwardly greet one of the suckling babies attached to the boob tap, while Tammy maintained her resting bitch face and gave the cold shoulder (poor Rosa just tagged along, and hopefully got a free brunch out of the deal). Mama Asuelu started in with her money schtick, to which Mother Kalani (who seems very nice but always looks like she just finished cleaning the kitchen…), interjected, making it known that the couple can not give what they don’t have. It got slightly heated for 0.02 seconds, which Low squashed, by admitting that meshing the two cultures is difficult. With Low’s large shadow looming over him, Asuelu decided to stand up to his mother and firmly stated that he will only give her money if he has left over after taking care of Kalani and the pajama brothers. Periot. This of course caused Mama Asuelu’s sunken evil eyes to well with emotion for the first time, but she agreed to respect his decision (good thing he didn’t say making out was off the table, too!). Asuelu admitted that he was only a quarter half happy, which was a fun fraction, as opposed to most 90 Day men expressing feelings in percentages. Then everyone finished their food. That was it. Instead of eating his Grand Slam breakfast, Low should have ripped off his clothing, revealing his fighting sarong, as he flung Tammy through the wall, flipped the damn table, body checked Asuelu, flipping the bird to Rosa just because she was there, while twirling a firestick and tipped the waitress all at the same time, while Flo Rida plays in the background “She hit the floor! Next thing you know! Shawty got LOW LOW LOw low low low…” But no. He was sipping herbal tea and thinking about taking up bird watching. You let us down, Low. You let us down. Periot. He deserves a Colt-ee text AND only a 1 salami rating. Noticeably missing (because I didn’t have to mute my television) were Tania & Cinnabon. I’m so grateful that they give us a week off from them every other week. It’s like they go away to Dad’s house every other weekend, and it’s the kind of custody agreement that I’m thankful for.
He had caught this bunch moons ago. On the road from here to Blackwood Vale they had been found, dressed in the bright red they had been expected to be wearing. Arstan had put out notices about red priests being captured and tried far beforehand, yet these fools had not even tried to disguise themselves. And so as the Lord of Stone Hedge rode north to meet with Lord Blackwood, he had encountered members of the very same group that had driven him to do so. It was strange, Arstan thought, how fury at a greater foe could create the strangest of allies. Houses Bracken and Blackwood had fought for centuries, sword against sword, trading ownership of Piety and its oft ironic name, and those foolish hills that only became part of their feud because of a tyrant’s actions - a tyrant whose progeny would forever rule the Seven Kingdoms no matter whether their dragon was black or red. Yet now he and Lord Roderick stood together, brothers against a common foe with thoughts of hills behind them. For now, their foe was that foreign god and its murderous followers. Followers like the three men tied to stakes in the Stone Hedge courtyard before him. At his left and right stood his sons Robert and Elyas respectively, both clutching bows in their hands. Arstan himself held a throwing spear with a tip as thin as paper and as sharp as a needle. His hand tightened around the haft as he locked eyes with the leader of the band of priests, and he began to speak. If there was one thing that all agreed on when it came to the Lord of Stone Hedge, it was that he held an imposing presence. Every word that left his mouth was one that could kill a man if spoken right. In this case, they likely would. “I know not your names,” he began, “but I know who you are. I know what god you worship. I know what words fill your mouth when you are afraid. I know the prayers you utter as darkness enters your mind and your eyes as your final moments draw near. I know how you think you can reach him.” With a quick nod he signalled to a group of men-at-arms bearing torches nearby to the priests on their stakes. “Do you wish to suffer that pain for a chance at seeing your false god? Do you wish to witness his glory with your own eyes?” Arstan’s question was met with a fervent bout of nodding from the priest on the left, to which his mouth opened with a broad grin. “Do not say I did not warn you.” With that, the men-at-arms threw their torches upon the pyres and they were alight within moments. Like snakes charmed by a flute from the far east, slowly but surely pushing their way out of their basket and into the clear air, they rose and danced. No music accompanied their climb however, but pure silence. Until the fire caught the bottom of the centre priest’s robe. Then, that silence was broken. It was initially just a panicked gasp, but it turned to screaming as the flame reached his leg. As it rose up the pyre it began to find its way up his robe as it did his brethren. Even the gags in their mouths began to burn away, as did their hair - parts of their skin joined them. Prayers to the Red God rose from the men, each chanting the same words in remarkable time. “Oh, R’hllor, Lord of Light! Our God of Flame and Shadow, embrace us in our death. Let our life be taken by your eternal fires and brought to a greater land where we may fight the Great Other with our all!” “Admirable,” Arstan said, stopping them as they began another prayer, “yet you will not be meeting with your precious Lord of Light this day. My sons. Nock.” “No, no, no!” “Draw!” “You must not, he will… he will strike you down!” “Loose!” Both Robert and Elyas let their arrows fly, and both hit their mark with fury. Fire had caused the two priests pain, but it had not slain them. Arstan Bracken’s sons had slain them, with no remorse or hesitation. Yet one more remained. “Lord Bracken,” he shouted as he pushed back a scream, “you know not what you do! We had nothing to do with the death you wish to avenge! We are innocents, I swea-AAAAAAAH!” Arstan spat on the ground and threw his spear as he gave his answer. “I care not if you swung the sword. I care not if you lit the flame. You revere your false god as much as they did, and that drove them to kill a woman my son loved. Do you understand me? Your Lord of Light will kill more innocent Westerosi if you heathens are suffered to exist. I will not stand for it! Die now!” And so he did, his last breath being a gasp as the fire leapt up over him and the spear pierced through. Without even a second look at his victims, Arstan Bracken turned away, yellow cloak billowing with a gust of wind that swept through. “Robert. Elyas. Do as you wish. We will meet just before sunrise for breakfast. If you are late I will have you sweep the pyres yourselves.” “Yes, father.” Was he doing the right thing? At this point, the Lord of Stone Hedge did not know. But he knew what he was doing was not wrong. Who knew what these men would have done if they had been allowed to roam the Trident for longer? It did not bear thinking about. He did what he had to. What more could be asked for?
Kate-Zahl (Toltec), Kul-kul-kan (Maya), Tah-co-mah (NW America), Waicomak (Dakota), Wakea (Cheyenne, Hawaiian and Polynesian), Waikano (Orinoco), Hurakan, the Mighty Mexico, E-See-Co-Wah (Lord of Wind and Water), Chee-Zoos, the Dawn God (Puan, Mississippi), Hea-Wah-Sah (Seneca), Taiowa, Ahunt Azoma, E-See-Cotl (New Guinea), Itza-Matul (Yucatan), Zac-Mutul (Mayan), Wakon-Tah (Navajo), Wakona (Algonquin), etc..(2)
When he left the Toltecs and sailed away to the East, Kate-Zahl promised to return to them after several cycles of their calendar. He made a prophecy about the destiny of the sacred city Tula (now identified with Teotihuacan in Mexico) through two millennia. The Toltecs would be conquered first by the Sacrificers of Men (the Aztecs), then by white-skinned, bearded men of the East carrying fatal “thunder-rods” - the Spaniards and their guns:
"Further off there is another invasion. In ships many bearded men are coming from across the Sunrise Ocean... I see these men taking the Broad Land... They do not respect our trees of cedar. They are but hungry, unenlightened children... "Would that I could speak to these bearded farmers. I have tried. They do not hear me. They go on their way like spoiled children... "Stand with me in the Year of Te-Tac-patl. Look across the Sunrise Ocean. Three ships come like great birds flying. They land. Out come men in metal garments, carrying rods which speak with thunder and kill at a distance. These men are bearded and pale of feature. "They come ashore and I see them kneeling. Above them I see a Great Cross standing. That is well. If these men are true to the symbol they carry, you need have no fear of them, for no one who is true to that symbol will ever carry it into battle. "Therefore hold aloft your Great Cross (T), and go forth to meet them. They cannot fail to know that symbol, and would not fire their rods upon it, nor upon those who stand in its shadow. Well they know that what is done to my people is done also to me. "When the years have come to their full binding, the metal-tipped boots of the strangers will be heard in all the bloody temples. Then throughout the Broad Land has begun the Third Cycle. As yet, I cannot see beyond it. "Once I had great hope for these people, for I saw them kneel and kiss the sweet earth, and I saw the shadow of the Great Cross which they carried with them. Now I must warn you against them. "Carry your great books into the jungles. Place your histories deeply in caverns where none of these men can find them. Nor do you bring them back to the sunlight until the War-Cycle is over. For these bearded strangers are the children of War. They speak my precepts, but their ears do not listen. They have but one love and that is for weapons. Ever more horrible are these weapons, until they reach for the one which is ultimate. Should they use that, there will be no forgiveness in that vale where there is no turning. Using such a weapon to make man over, is reaching into the heavens for the Godhead. These things are not for man’s decision, nor should man presume to think for all things, and thus mock the Almighty. Woe to those who do not listen! There are lamps beyond that which you are burning; roads beyond this which you are treading; worlds beyond the one you are seeing. Be humble before the might of the Great Hand which guides the stars within their places. There are many lodges within my Father’s Kingdom for it is more vast than time, and more eternal. "Keep hidden your books, my children, all during the Cycle of Warring Strangers. The day will come when they will be precious. "For five full Cycles of the Dawn Star, the rule of the Warring Strangers will go on to greater and greater destruction. Hearken well to all I have taught you. Do not return to the Sacrificers. Their path leads to the last Destruction. Know that the end will come in five full cycles, for five, the difference between the Earth’s number and that of the Gleaming Dawn Star, is the number of these children of War. As a sign to you that the end is nearing, my Father’s Temple will be uncovered. Remember this in the days which are coming."
Tula-Teotihuacan was found and excavated by archaeologists only in recent years. In another prophecy, Kate-Zahl described the city as it will be rebuilt in the future:
"Then the heavens spoke in a crash of thunder, and the lightning flashed above the valley. The Man turned to look again on Tula, his most beloved city. Behold! It was naught but a mass of rubble. "He wept there with great sorrow. He clung to the rocks, staring back toward Tula. Then the heavens roared again and shook the mountain. A flash of light struck beside Him and cracked the darkness. Behold! The old heaven and earth were vanished, and He looked into another cycle. "The heavens parted and a rising sun shone down on another Tula. Plainly he could see the valley, but the city was one He knew not. Magnificent was this Golden Tula! "The Man was lifted beyond the earth. No longer He saw the Age of Destruction. Gone was the horrible Age of Warfare. He was looking beyond the Age of Carnage! "Walk with me through this Age of the Future. Tula shines in all its glory, but the metals are of types we know not. Loving hands have rebuilt the parkways, have paved the streets, have rebuilt the temples. There is a great building where books are kept for the scholars, and many are those who come to read them. Tula is a great Center of Culture. "Come with me to the New Colula. Shining again is My Father’s Temple! Once more the city is filled with fountains and the parkways are wire-netted for the birds of rare plumage, and those who sing to enchant the listener. Cross through the parkway to My Father’s Temple. You will see again the inscriptions which today your eyes are seeing, but now all people can read them. "Come to the city of the future. Here are the buildings unlike those we build, yet they have a breathless beauty. Here people dress in materials we know not, travel in manners beyond our knowledge, but more important than all these differences are the faces of the people. Gone is the shadow of fear and suffering, for man no longer sacrifices, and he has outgrown the wars of his childhood. Now he walks in full stature towards his destiny --- into the Golden Age of Learning. "Carry this vision on through the Ages, and remember Kate-Zahl, the Prophet."
In Book X of his History, the 16th century chronicler Fray Bernardino de Sahagun described the departure of the "wise men" who had been the attendant priests of Kate-Zahl at Teotihuacan:
"The wise men remained not long; soon they went. Once again, they embarked and carried off the writing, the books, the paintings; they carried away all the crafts, the castings of metals. And when they departed, they summoned all those they left behind. They said to them: "Our lord, the protector of all, the wind, the night, saith you shall remain. We go leaving you here.
Our lord goeth bequesting you this land; it is your merit, your lot. Our lord, the master of all, goeth still farther, and we go with him. Whither the lord, the night, the wind, our lord, the master of all, goeth, we go accompanying him. He goeth, he goeth back, but he will come, he will come to do his duty, he will come to acknowledge you. When the world is become oppressed, when it is the end of the world, at the time of its ending, he will come to bring it to an end. But you shall dwell here; you shall stand guard here..." A surviving Toltec legend includes this prophecy:
"Ce Acatl [Quetzelcoatl] spent a night with a Huiteca family. They fed him and played music for him. The father, a strong Indian farmer, showed Ce Acatl a stone carving he had and told him, "This carving tells of the coming of the Lord of the Dawn. it says he will come in the Year One Reed. It says he will build a city and change the world." "The farmer had no idea who he was talking to. He continued. "Now," he said, "many people say he will not come. Many people say it is a long time from now that he will come. Some people say he will come from the East and he will bring a great book of words and numbers. Other people say he will come from a tree and count the Last twenty Days of the Creation. What do you say about this?" "Ce Acatl grew gray with the depth of his answer. "If I told you of my thought, of what I know of the Spirit of the Lord of the Dawn, if I told you of what I think will happen, you would laugh and think me crazy. So I say only this: One day a race shall walk upon this earth, a race of men whose spirits are so great, whose wisdom is so complete, whose powers to commune with the Creator are so keen they will dwarf the doings of the Lord of the Dawn of our day. When that day comes the Creator will send forth a manifestation that will in turn amaze the wisest men of that unbelievable age. And even then the greatest brains on earth will wonder --- has he come? Will he come? Or has he been here?"
When he departed, Ce Acatl promised to close the Thirteenth Heaven and open the First of the Nine Hells, and he vowed to destroy the man-made gods. He set the year and date of his birth (260 years later on Day One Reed in year One Reed) and said, "I shall return. I shall come from the east like the Morning Star, and I will fulfill that part of the prophecy.” It is said that when Ce Acatl passed away at the age of 52, "A hush fell over the entire planet, and burning bright in the heavens directly above the great tree, the Tree of Life [El Tule], glowed the planet Venus, the Morning Star.”" Quetzelcoatl also foretold the following:
"In time, white men will come out of the eastern sea in great canoes with white wings like a big bird. The white men will be like a bird with two different kinds of feet. One foot will be that of a dove [Christianity], the other of an eagle [predator]. A few hundred years after the arrival of the first white men, other white men would arrive with both feet as a dove."
Quetzelcoatl himself or his spirit would come in the form of a white dove at that time. A Zapotec prophecy, transmitted by Joseph Jochmans, also announced the recent return of Quetzelcoatl:
"One of the incarnations of Quetzelcoatl is buried beneath the roots of the sacred El Tule Tree near Oaxaca, and as the first rays of the dawning sun of the new heaven cycle [August 17, 1987] sink into the depths of the Earth, billions of tiny spirits will burst from the heart of Quetzelcoatl.
They will slowly rise through the trunk, through the limbs and branches, appearing as sparkles of light, finally erupting from limbs and branches, to circle the globe, each spirit to implant itself within the heart of a human being, and plant a crystal of peace and love..."
2020.09.16 18:55 bbgrlpeachesI'm feeling kinda suspicious of some big spenders (for doing really easy things) on Streamate. Am I overthinking it or does this seem weird to anyone else?
I don't know if I'm just overthinking it, but I have a weird feeling about a couple encounters I've had these past 2 weeks. I've had 2 people take me into my exclusive room, once two weeks ago and once last week, both asking me to try on different clothes like bikinis, casual black dresses, sneakers/knee high socks. All shit that I would normally wear out in public. I wouldn't normally think this is weird, except for both these men, though different usernames, both said they had no audio (they were at work), and were both from Portugal lol. Both of them spent nearly an hour with me in exclusive chat just having me try on different outfits and watch me fuck myself, all the while barely talking and just moaning a little everyone now and then. Modeling shit. The first one tipped me about $75 gold during the show, and the second one tipped $150 gold. Today, another person requested an exclusive, no audio, couldn't hear me (not alone apparently), and asks,
can I see u wear yourself casual, like u are going out some sneakers skirt, top
All of these things wouldn't seem like bad things by themselves. Fuck, I'm psyched about those paychecks, but I got a really weird feeling in my gut. I blocked him before I asked him where he was from. This has been happening once a week for the past three weeks, and I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, but it feels too good to not have a catch. My boyfriend says I'm probably just overthinking it. I don't really have a social media presence (neither work nor personal), and I don't really tell anyone much about myself in the first place. Has anyone else ever encountered this on Streamate? Does this seem kinda weird to anybody else or should I calm down and accept that these are whales who just don't care for talking?
2020.09.16 05:02 bosslessmindsetHow do you impress someone out of your league?
You do this by getting into their league. DO THIS BY… BY THOUGHT: We unfortunately live in a world where looks matter in many instances. One of those instances are relationships. Looks might get you the initial attention you want, but they won’t help you maintain a long-term relationship because the looks will become less important while the personality becomes more significant – at least in a healthy one. Some people were born with good looks, these people won the genetic lottery as they say. And that is okay, we won’t hate on them because whether you believe it or not, you can increase your physical attraction and if you can only increase your attractiveness slightly, that’s still a win. First change your attraction by changing your thoughts. If you think you are ugly then you will act ugly and vice versa - if you think you look good then you will act good looking. Most people typically date 1 point above or below their attractiveness level. So, if you are an 8 on the scale, you can date 7s and 8s while easily bagging a 9 and even possibly a 10 if you play your cards right. Here’s the thing: If you know you can increase your physical attractiveness, if you know you can get to the point where the opposite sex starts showing interest without you trying, isn’t that confidence in itself? Exactly. BY ACTIONS: The thing about confidence is that it’s a feeling constructed on a foundation of logical and structured reasoning. “If this, then that.” You can’t “fake” confidence. Your mind needs proof. It needs reason. It needs something palpable, or real. Some people might say, “but I’ve done it! I faked it until I made it.” No, you didn’t. You took action that ultimately guided you through the steps of becoming a confident individual. And once you got those steps right more than once, the fear started melting away. Confidence isn’t something you can pull out of your ass. It takes practice and a certain mindset to achieve and it requires the knowledge to create the steps necessary to get there. Hence the age-old adage: “Knowledge is power.” Thus, have the confidence to go up to a woman and make conversation. You never know what might happen. Yes, you could get rejected or even ignored on one hand and on the other, you could actually find yourself in a great conservation that eventually turns into a relationship. Over-all, taking action and exuding confidence is one way you can raise your SMV 1, 2, or even 3 points. Remember, there are many good-looking men out there that lack confidence. I have seen them many times – and because of their lack of confidence, they never get the girl they want. So, add confidence to your actionable repertoire. Furthermore, going to the gym to build musculature and eating healthy is always a good thing. Not only do these 2 basic actions help but they also increase your life longevity. Your mental and spiritual being is just as important to physical attractiveness as your physical self. People can sense when you don’t feel attractive, regardless of how attractive you really are. BY WARDROBE: Third, your wardrobe can and will increase your attractiveness. Don’t believe me? Then check this out. How would you rather dress? A or B A https://preview.redd.it/5pqkiz6zdfn51.jpg?width=329&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13b47396d9be22ca397ca157d0b28359971e795a Or B https://preview.redd.it/6ae56h20efn51.jpg?width=306&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=feae0a26a276b522095fb20ec27a9939ccc85cf2 It’s the same guy but in B he looks a lot better and thus more attractive! This is how effective having a good wardrobe can be on your appearance and attract the type(s) of women you want to try a relationship with. Furthermore, if you are trying your hand at online dating – not only do you need good wardrobe but you also need great pictures. Great pictures are a game-changer in my opinion and is a huge boost if you are competing with a large pool of guys. It is always good to refresh your photos on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Tinder to stay ahead of the rest of the guys. Remember, when dating online, the only metric a woman has to judge you by within a few seconds is your looks and you convey these looks through pictures. So why not compete effectively and at least getting some semi professional pictures will place you notches higher than you would of if you had just regular pictures up. Over-all, if you feel good, look good and have an excellent mental state and spiritual outlook you can notch up on the ladder of attractiveness. join me in longtermDATING for more tips, tricks and advice.
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